Some Announcer Guy: Hello, and welcome to another installment of eX’s Interviews, with your host, eX!

(eX walks onstage, welcomed by complete silence from the crowd)

eX: Thank you, thank you, now let’s get this thing rolling! Today I’m interviewing the Queen of the Dead, ruler of the Underwhere....

Goomba: Hehehe, he said Underwhere.

eX: Jaydes!

(The stage is engulfed with purple smoke, and Jaydes appears. The crowed is too scared to say anything.)

eX: Welcome Jaydes, please take a seat.

Jaydes: I don’t need your pathetic chair!

(Jaydes snaps her fingers and two D-men bring in very large chair, which Jaydes sits in.)

eX: Now Jaydes, tell me, for being a ruler of a place filled with creepy dead things, you sure seem to not be really evil.

Jaydes: I’m not an evil person... I just have a rather... uh, morbid job.

eX: Interesting. What’s the worst death you’ve ever seen?

Jaydes: Oh, I’ve seen way too many. But I’ll mention this one. A long while ago, some poor man was merely walking down the street, when suddenly there was a getaway. Two Bandits and a Bullet Bill had robbed a bank. He met his doom when the Bullet Bill slammed into him.

eX: Ewww, anywho. How many continues have you given out?

Jaydes: Only one, to Mario and his brother.

eX: I see, are there ways anyone can cheat coming to the Underwhere?

Jaydes: Yes. I don’t like it though. People like Merlon have premonitions of what will happen, then they simply avoid that situation. But then my three fates hunt them down.

eX: This Interview is starting to scare me.

Jaydes: Good.

eX: Where did you find the Underchomp?

Jaydes: I didn’t find him anywhere. I created him with my magic.

eX: I see. Why did you need to put him there?

Jaydes: So that he could guard the entrance to the Underwhere, to keep things from escaping or entering.

eX: Who would want to enter the Underwhere?

Jaydes: No one yet... with the exception of Luvbi.

eX: Ah! Well enough from me, questions from the audience. Seat 12!

Boo: How will I die?

Jaydes: Aren’t you already dead?

Boo: Oh yeah.

eX: Seat 345.

Luigi: How will I die?

Jaydes: I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you that information.

(Suddenly the three hags appear in a puff of purple smoke.)

Hagra: But we can!

Jaydes: The three of you! Back to the Underwhere with you!

Goomba: Hehehe, she said underwhere.

(A lightning bolt strikes the Goomba.)

Goomba: Ow....

Jaydes: Oops, I just killed another thing... Well he’ll see me in a minute.

eX: Okay... Uh, seat 2,458

Peach: Is the River Twygz really made out of the tears of sinners?

Jaydes: Indeed it is. You may not be able to tell but the river holds the souls of those who fell in too. It is also a very long river, it circles the Underwhere nine times.

eX: Speaking of which, how did Luigi manage to survive falling into the river?

Jaydes: He wasn’t dead. Those who are dead and fall in, their souls are dragged to the bottom, never to surface.

eX: Creepy! Well we’re all out of time. And this time we managed not to blow up the building! Well thank you, Jaydes.

Jaydes: I hope to see you soon.

eX: I don’t!

(Jaydes laughs, then vanishes from the stage in purple smoke.)

eX: I want my mommy.

End Transmission

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