Buy Now! Buy Now!

By kirbystar56

Jon walks out onto the stage.

Jon: Hey hey hey! Welcome all to Consumer's Corner! Today I will be selling an excellent product for a completely ridiculous price!

Lakitu (cameraman): Just get on with it.

Jon: Right. Today's super excellent product is... Silly Salve. Let's take a look!

The screen switches to the preview of one of Morton's speeches. Morton prepares to speak when Jon walks onstage.

Morton: Ahem.

Jon: Look how useful it is!

Jon stuffs the goop down into Morton's mouth and sticks Morton's mouth completely shut.

Morton: Jgmdgvgnburoejsknvrse!

Jon: See, buy this ultra super wonderful amazing product now and-

Lemmy comes out and stuffs the Silly Salve down Jon's mouth.

Jon: Fsdjkldhjk! (You'll pay for this Lemmy!)

Lemmy: It really is useful!

The screen turns dark.

Morton: Asj,dfhjklahajksrhadfjklbsdgjujskdhjkldhfjklasbhdjkvbgethdthjdhhdgtjrsumsrmu! (WEDDING CAKE!)

Lemmy: Well, now that this is taken care of, I'll be taking this sales product show for the rest of the time. Okay, let's get some callers. The current price for this item is... $300.99?!  For this piece of trash... oh, you're still here! Operators are standing by to take your calls and your money right now! Let's see those phones ring!

Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring!

Lemmy: What? Someone's actually calling? I don't believe it! Tell us who you are and what quantity of the item you-

Goomba: I hate your show Lemmy!

Lemmy: It's not my @^%^%$ show... oh, sorry! It's Jon's!

Goomba: Oh! Great show Jon!

Jon: Zsdfjdas, lnhjhfjkgjkbgfjzbghfkadg. (Thanks, at least someone appreciates me.)

Lemmy: Anyone want to purchase this cruddy item?

Morton: Xfjsdbfjlsfnhljs!

Lemmy: *sigh* Next item... Squrlie repellant!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring rign ring ring!

Max: GIVE IT ALL TO ME!!!

Jon: Sanbjkbhzjkgvkhdajkfykjdryhkljsdhklcvhjkzd! (No, me!)

Squrlie: Yah Matthew and Jon!

Max: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Jon: GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!)

Lemmy: I'll take two of those, thank you!

John rips out the Silly Salve.

Jon: LEMMY!

Lemmy: WHAT?! You afraid of a little competition?

Jon: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Mainly because you're using ALL OF MY ITEMS!

Lemmy: Picky!

Jon: RRRHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Jon runs over to Lemmy and rips his head off.

Jon: Oops! Sorry Lemmy.

Lemmy: Oh that's okay, I don't mind if my HEAD'S CUT OFF!

Jon pastes Lemmy's head on with Silly Salve.

Lemmy: How useful can you get?

John: Next item is...

Jon looks around. He picks up a Koopa fruit.

John: This Koopa fruit piece! Now for only $3.00! Hey! I'll just buy that!

To Be Continued...

Morton: Kafjsfchkjafhkajfkj! (Someone help!)

Go to Prince Larry's Trimming.
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Go back to Lemmy's Trimmings.
Go back to Lemmy's Land.