Lemmy: And welcome to the finals of Plit Idol!
 
Larry: Hey! What happened to Badyoyo?
 
Lemmy: Badyoyo quit tojoin some boxing tournament at his school.
 
Meanwhile at Badyoyo's high school…
 
Badyoyo: I must break you.
 
Badyoyo punches a guy in the jaw and he falls down for a TKO.
 
Announcer: The winner of this match, as a result of a TKO, Baldrick D. Yoyo!
 
The ref gives Badyoyo a trophy.
 
Back at the Finals…
 
Lemmy: Well, we're down to the final two! But who will get it? Who will become Plit's Idol?
 
Larry: Let's do this!
 
Simon: Let's just get it over with.
 
Lemmy: First up... Wario!
 
Larry: Yay!
 
Simon: Oh bloody...
 
Wario walks out in a suit made of money. Goombas he bought from Rawk Hawk sing back up.
 
Wario: Money... Money
Money makes the world go around

Goombas: ...the world go around
... the world go around.

Wario: Money makes the world go around
It makes the world go 'round.

A mark, a yen, a buck or a pound

Goombas: ... a buck or a pound
... a buck or a pound.

Wario: Is all that makes the world go around
That clinking, clanking sound...
Can make the world go 'round

Goombas: Money money money money
Money money money money
Money money money...

Wario: If you happen to be rich
And you feel like a night's entertainment
You can pay for a great night out
If you happen to be rich and alone
And you need a companion
You can ring (ting-a-ling) for the maid to play a game of Monopoly.
If you happen to be rich
And you if you're big fighter and lost a big match
Call a cab and begin to recover
On your 14-karat yacht! WHA?!

Money makes the world go around

Goombas: ...the world go around
... the world go around.

Wario: Money makes the world go around

Goombas: Money money money money
Money money money money
Money money money...

Wario: When you haven't any coal in the stove
And you freeze in the winter
And you curse to the wind at your fate.
When you haven't any shoes on your feet,
Your coat's thin as paper,
And you look 30 pounds underweight
When you go to get a word of advice
From the fat little pastor,
He will tell you to love evermore.
But when hunger comes to rap,
rat-a-tat rat-a-tat at the window
*knock knock* (at the window)
Who's there? (hunger) Oh, hunger!
See how love flies out the door...

For, money makes the world go around

Goombas: ...the world go around
... the world go around.

Wario: Money makes the world go 'round
The clinking, clanking sound of...
Money money money money
Money money money money...
Get a little, get a little
Money money money money...
Mark, a yen, a buck or a pound,
That clinking, clanking, clunking sound,
Is all that makes the world go 'round,
It makes the world go 'round
 
Dollar sign fireworks appear while Wario and the Goombas slide toward the  judges for a big finale.
 
Lemmy: Impressive, 9/10,
 
Larry: 8/10, I think we have a winner.
 
Simon: That was ridiculous. Yu used to have taste in music, now you don't. You're not some bloody advert for some musical. If I was in England, everyone in the theater district would have a fit. -10/10
 
Lemmy: Annnnnd! The other finalist! Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands (if you have them) together for Flavio, Pa-patch, and P.T. Piranha!
 
Meanwhile backstage...
 
Flavio: What do you mean we don't have a third song?
 
P.T. Piranha: Sorry, I didn't think we would make it to the finals, so I only prepared two songs.
 
Pa-Patch: ...  You are truly an idiot.
 
Flavio: Ok, thankfully I came prepared in case you would do something so stupid.
 
Flavio puts on some techno glasses and tosses a pair to P.T. Piranha and Pa-patch.
 
Flavio: I wear these things and I can see the lyrics to a random song. I'll perform it and you guys just go "oooooo".
 
Pa-patch and P.T. Piranha: Got it.
 
They leave and Flavio sees which song he's going to do.
 
Flavio: Well... no turning back now. But this is going to take forever to sing. Let's hope I have enough breath.
 
Pa-Patch and P.T. Piranha begins singing immediately as they enter. After 10 seconds of "oooooo" Flavio takes a deep breath and begins to sing.
 
Flavio: Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

She says "Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynard Skynard?"
And I say "I don't know.
Say, it's gettin' late... what you wanna do for dinner?”

She says "I kinda had a big lunch.
So I'm not super hungry."
I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could eat."

She said "So what do you have in mind?"
I said "I don't know, what about you?"
She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat."
I said "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says "Let me think...
... What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said "Well, there's tuna, I know."
She said "That went bad a week ago!"
I said "Is the chili ok?"
She said "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said
"I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'."
She's like "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like "I should know what I said... "
She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry
Callin' for the third time today...
My wife said "Let it go to voicemail."
I said, "Ok."

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what d'ya want to do?"
She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," I said, "why don't you?"

And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes"
I says "No"
She says "Yes...
... Oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say "Ok, where ya want to go?"
She says "How about The Ivy?"
I said "Yeah, well I don't know... "

I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
She's says "Olive Garden?"
I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood...

... And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says "Just forget about it"
I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I says "I know what we'll do!"
She says "What?"
I say "Guess"
She says "What?"
I say "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seatbelts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her.
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what you trying to do, blind me?"

My wife says "Maybe we should park...
... We could just go eat inside."
I said "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride... "

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?"
I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese."

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time"

I said "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says "That's not what I'm hungry for."
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said "Then, take our order,
And we'll be on our way!

I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She's like "You want onions on that?"
I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do...

... Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it."

Then I said "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright...
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right."

She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich.
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!

I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says "We're havin' a special,
I supersized you at no charge."

"Oh." And then all
I could say, was "Oh."
And she says "Now there is somethin' else
That I really think you should know.

You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more... "
I say "Great, except we're in the drive-thru...
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar... hey, is this Paul?”
And my wife is all like "No, that ain't Paul,
Now tell me, who's this Paul?”

She says "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me.
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off him in Geometry.”

I said "I know a guy named Paul.
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer.

He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe."
And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there,
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty-two cents."

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio...

 Turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake.

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said "Um,
I think you have somethin' in your teeth."

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said "Did I get it?"
I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it...
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it."

Then she said "How about now?"
I said "Yeah, almost.
There's still a little bit there
But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast."

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like,
"Well, well that'll be five eighty-two."
I turn around to my wife, and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this, I guess."
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says "Oh, dear.
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here."

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that’s trash."
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks cash.

I said "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway?”

And I said "Nevermind,
Just help me to find some change... "
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin at me kinda strange...

And she says "Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along"
I said "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady,
We won't be long."

We looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said "Ok
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene."

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene,
Can I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say "Ketchup!"
And he says "Oh yeah, that's right...
... I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight."

And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say "Baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They... They
 
Flavio begins to lose his breath.
 
Flavio: They... *gasp*...  forgot... *gasp* the... * pant*... onions.
 
The audience is on their feet applauding. So are Larry and Lemmy.
 
Lemmy: Bravo! Bravo! Until the end... 9/10!
 
Larry: I think that was intentional. Right, Flavio?

Flavio: Uh... yeah... what you said.
 
Larry: I give a 10/10!
 
Simon: Hold it!
 
The audience slowly quiets down.
 
Simon: That has got to be the most annoying, bloody, crazy, dreadful, ear-killing song I've ever heard! You're worse than all the others! The only reason you got here was because of Pa-patch and P.T.!
 
P.T. Piranha: Piranha.
 
Simon: I give that a -12/10! Who on this bloody planet sings a song that long?
 
Lemmy: Weird Al?
 
Simon: Silence!
 
Lemmy: Well, I guess the scores are tied, so we're going to need to personally talk with the judges here.
 
The three go into a separate room to discuss who should be the winner. After a 2-minute commercial, they come out to announce the winners.
 
Lemmy: The judges have made a decision... May I have the envelope please?
 
Larry hands Lemmy an envelope.
 
Lemmy: Drumroll, please?
 
Larry starts doing a drum roll.
 
Lemmy: The winner of Plit Idol is...
 
The camera looks at Flavio, Pa-patch, and P.T. Piranha, and Wario. Lemmy takes a deep breath.
 
Lemmy: ...  WARIO AND HIS GOOMBAS!
 
The audience applauds while Wario starts dancing, Flavio throws down his techno glasses and starts yelling at Pa-patch and P.T. Piranha. Wario grabs the microphone.
 
Wario: Thank you! Thank you! I'm-a so happy to win!
 
Flavio grabs a second microphone.
 
Falvio: How on Plit did you win? We worked the hardest! It's not fair!
 
Wario and Simon: Life's not fair.
 
Wario: Oh-a, I'm so happy I could... oh  boy.
 
Wario lets out a fart so big that everyone in the building except him passes out from the smell.
 
Wario: It feels good to win.

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