Round 2 (32)
Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome back to Mario
Madness! We’re here at Wario Stadium for the second round of
competition, and all those 32 players
who won last week will be playing again to try to get themselves into the
Sweet Sixteen!
Tony: Yippee. Move on.
Crazy Packers Fan: First, here’s how the bracket stacks up this week:
Mario/Koopas
#1 Roy vs #9 Susan
#12 Toad vs #13 Mario
#3 Daisy vs #11 Larry
#7 Yoshi vs #2 Lemmy
SMW Minions
#1 Chargin’ Chuck vs #8 Mega Mole
#12 Mechakoopa vs #13 Porcu-Puffer
#3 Banzai Bill vs #6 Torpedo Ted
#7 Dry Bones vs #2 Sumo Brother
SMB3 Minions
#1 Tony (Sledge Brother) vs #9 Spiny
Cheep Cheep
#5 Boom Boom vs #4 Hammer (Hammer Brother)
#3 Fiery (Fire Brother) vs #6 Roto
Disc
#7 Thwomp vs #15 Koopa Troopa
Super Koopas
#1 Misty Koopa vs #9 Lil’ Cheep Cheep
#5 Rachelle vs #13 Simon
#3 Lord Seth vs #6 Arim
#10 Sandslash vs #2 Husky/Washu
Crazy Packers Fan: So it’s time for the Mario/Koopas part of the bracket! Our first match: #1 Roy vs #9 Susan!
Susan: Time for the upset of the tournament!
Roy: Think twice.
Crazy Packers Fan: The match will be
really simple: I’ll pour a whole bunch of Buzzy Beetles into this
mini-boxing ring here. Whoever knocks
more Buzzies out of the ring in a minute wins!
Susan: Let’s go!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
The Buzzy Beetles start pouring out of a machine. After Susan knocks out seven and Roy knocks out three, the machine sputters and explodes.
Roy: Must be a Ludwig invention.
Ludwig: Quiet!
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, since no more
Buzzies will come out in the next minute, I guess Susan will win,
as soon as the minute elapses.
Susan: YAY!!!
All of a sudden, the machine spurts
out five Buzzy Beetles into the ring, then completely collapses. While
Susan is celebrating, Roy angrily kicks
them out of the ring. Then the rest of the minute ticks away.
Crazy Packers Fan: Roy wins, 8 to 7!
Susan: WHAT?!
Roy: Yes!
Crazy Packers Fan: On to the next match: #12 Toad vs #13 Mario!
Mario: Huh?
Toad: Just tell us what it is!
Crazy Packers Fan: Very simple. Ride on these Directional Lifts across the stadium and make it from one side to the other before your opponent does. Ready... go!
Toad, being nimbler, takes an early lead. But once the first lift runs out, his jumping skills, poor as they are, fail him, as instead of just falling straight down onto a lift, he jumps through a gap to the ground. Mario, who was taking a nap on one of the lifts, keeps on falling onto other lifts, which carry him across the stadium to a win.
Crazy Packers Fan: Mario wins!
Mario: I won?
Fiery: I wonder how long he’s going to last.
Crazy Packers Fan: Time for our next battle: #3 Daisy vs #11 Larry! This should be a good one.
Larry: Good for me!
Daisy: Uh, wasn’t that line already used?
Crazy Packers Fan: It doesn’t matter.
Your battle is simple: I know nothing about Super Mario RPG, but I’m
getting it. The first one of you two
to name three characters from the game that weren’t in any other game wins!
The two of them stare blankly at each other, since neither of them were around at the time of that game.
Daisy: Uh, I hear stuff about Smithy, but I don’t know who the heck he is!
Crazy Packers Fan: Neither do I, so that’s good enough for #1 for you!
Larry: Wait, I’ve heard of Geno and Mallow!
Crazy Packers Fan: I think those two were in it too, so you’ve got 2 now!
Lemmy: This is pathetic.
Daisy: Wait! Wait! What about that boxing ring winner guy- Mack!
Crazy Packers Fan: Yes, I think he’s from the game too, so it’s tied up 2 to 2!
The two stare at each other again, this time in aggression. But neither knows another character anyway, so it doesn’t matter how determined they look.
Daisy: What’s that loser’s name? I know it starts with an A... and a L...
Larry: Yeah, that imbecile...
Axem Leader: Hey! What are all the insults for? I didn’t do anything to you!
Daisy: Shut up, Axem Leader! You’re just like that stupid Glum Reaper!
Crazy Packers Fan: Glum Reaper is in
SMRPG, so they tell me. So, that’s 3 for Daisy! She will move on to
the next round!
Daisy: Yes!
Larry: I thought you liked me, CPF... rats!
Axem Leader: I’m not too thrilled with your contestants here either!
Crazy Packers Fan: Don’t take it seriously. After all, if it’s something run by me, everyone’s going to take an insult sooner or later. Now on to the final Mario/Koopas bracket battle, and maybe the best... #7 Yoshi vs #2 Lemmy!
Yoshi: Yoshi never lose in Crazy Packers Fan games!
Lemmy: Time for me to stop the streak!
Crazy Packers Fan: This contest is hard,
and I’d never want to try it. It’s a race with P Balloons. You know those
annoying things from Super Mario World? Well, you’ve got to use them to
make it across the stadium,
avoiding Volcano Lotuses and Chargin’
Chucks with footballs along the way. I’m assuming that’s the only
way across, but I never know what you’ll
think of. Ready, go!
Although neither of them was ready,
or even knew where a P Balloon is, they run over to the nearest two ?
Blocks, and each takes a P Balloon
that sails by. Then they start off on their way towards the other side
of Wario's Stadium.
Yoshi: This easy!
But a Volcano Lotus ruins Yoshi’s day.
Yoshi: NO!!!
As Yoshi falls toward the ground, Lemmy
continues on safely towards the exit, and then comes to a Chargin’
Chuck. He is able to wiggle his way
past the Chuck’s football and keep on going. But as Yoshi thinks all is
lost, he sticks his tongue out and
gets a blue Paratroopa in his mouth. Then he starts to fly!
Crazy Packers Fan: I knew they would think of something.
Yoshi, as you’d imagine, makes a huge
comeback, very close to winning, but a Volcano Lotus’s shot hits him,
making him spit out the shell. He stops
flying, plummeting toward the ground.
Yoshi: Yoshi lose!
However, Lemmy’s luck runs out as the P Balloon’s time runs out, and he too goes toward the ground, landing on top of Yoshi.
Crazy Packers Fan: Hmm... how am I going to judge this? I know! The first to hit the ground is the first one there, so Yoshi wins!
Lemmy: That’s cheap!
Yoshi: Yoshi win anyway!
Crazy Packers Fan: That’s how it goes
in Mario Madness. So now on to the SMW Minions round! Our first
match: #1 Chargin’ Chuck vs #8 Mega
Mole!
Chargin’ Chuck: What a contest.
Daisy: I think I’ve heard that one too.
Crazy Packers Fan: It doesn’t matter again. This is simple. There’s a ton of blocks over there. The first one to barrel through those blocks and reach the finish line wins! Go!
Since Chargin’ Chuck is used to doing this, he breaks through easily. But since Mega Mole has bad eyesight, he misses the blocks altogether, giving Chargin’ Chuck the easiest win of his life.
Crazy Packers Fan: Chargin’ Chuck wins,
to no one’s surprise! Let’s have a real battle, with a couple of
losers who shouldn’t have made it this
far: #12 Mechakoopa vs #13 Porcu-Puffer!
Mechakoopa: I’m here?
Porcu-Puffer: Stop trying to imitate Mario!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now here’s another
easy contest. All you’ve got to do is collect five Dragon Coins and
exit the maze first in order to win.
Porcu-Puffer: I think I saw something like this on Survivor...
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
The two competitors slowly crawl through the maze, as they only can. Mechakoopa knows which way to go but is too slow in getting there; Porcu-Puffer is faster but can’t find any coins. So the race goes on and on and on...
Crazy Packers Fan: Let’s go on to our
next game while they’re racing through the maze. It’s one of the best,
unknown rivalries ever: #3 Banzai Bill
vs #6 Torpedo Ted!
Banzai Bill: This should be explosive!
Torpedo Ted: I can’t wait!
Crazy Packers Fan: Both of you must blast at your wall, which are these small walls built by Ludwig. Banzai’s wall is made of steel, while Torpedo Ted’s is made of wood, to make this fair. Whoever knocks down the wall wins! Ready... go!
Banzai and Ted go flying into their walls. Banzai causes the steel to catch on fire, but Ted is too small to get it to ignite. Both turn around, back up a bit, then turn back towards their respective walls and blast at them again. Banzai’s wall starts to crumble. Ted’s doesn’t do anything, so he decides to keep bumping at it. Then he thinks of an idea.
Torpedo Ted: If I could only get one part of this on fire, maybe it would all burn. If I bump one stone into Banzai’s fire...
Ted bumps a stone that he knocked off
his wall over into Banzai’s fiery wall, then bumps it back, catching
his wall on fire. All of a sudden,
both walls collapse at the same time.
Banzai Bill: How did that happen?
Torpedo Ted: It’s a Ludwig creation.
Ludwig: Everyone hates me!
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, here’s another hard one to decide who wins, since both walls fell at the same time.
Crazy Packers Fan sees one block of Ted’s wall still standing.
Crazy Packers Fan: Since there’s still a little bit of Ted’s wall left, Banzai wins!
Banzai Bill: Yahoo!
Torpedo Ted: Rats...
Just then, Crazy Packers Fan sees Porcu-Puffer crawl out of the maze holding five Dragon Coins in his mouth.
Crazy Packers Fan: Porcu-Puffer wins!
Porcu-Puffer: Blah! I hate the taste of coins!
Crazy Packers Fan: Where’s Mechakoopa?
Porcu-Puffer: I think I kicked him by accident with my fin on the way here...
BOOM! Mechakoopa flies sky-high, landing in the crowd.
Crazy Packers Fan: That explains that.
Now on to the final match of this SMW Minions bracket, #7 Dry
Bones vs #2 Sumo Brother!
Dry Bones: This should be interesting...
Sumo Brother: Get going!
Crazy Packers Fan: For this round, you’ve
got to simply jump from each Amazing Flying Hammer Brother
platform to another, with no Amazing
Flying Hammer Brothers on them, and then make it to the finish. Ready?
Dry Bones: Sure!
Sumo Brother: Just go!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Both of them start off pretty evenly,
but Dry Bones has some trouble and slips and gets crushed. Sumo
Brother takes a huge lead.
Sumo Brother: I’m home-free now!
Dry Bones recovers, but he seems too far back for a chance at winning. He jumps desperately, and somehow a Fishin’ Lakitu hooks him and starts to carry him towards the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: Neck and neck to the finish line, who will win?
Sumo Brother stomps his cloud, engulfing Dry Bones in a wave of flames. Sumo Brother then crosses the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: Sumo Brother wins! Now go cool off, Dry Bones.
Sumo Brother throws Dry Bones into a nearby lake.
Crazy Packers Fan: All right, time for the SMB3 Minions part of this second round! First off, we have #1 Tony vs #9 Spiny Cheep Cheep!
Spiny Cheep Cheep: Time for an upset!
Daisy: We’ve heard that one already, haven’t we?
Tony: Just get it on and stop with the stupid introductions!
Crazy Packers Fan: This is a simple
contest. Destroy the Bowser statue in front of you before your opponent
does. Ready, go!
Tony starts pounding away with a sledge
hammer, while Spiny Cheep Cheep tries jumping into it. But Spiny
Cheep Cheep’s spikes aren’t doing the
job, so he resorts to trying to steal one off Tony.
Tony: What- get off me- stupid- go away- Spiny Cheep Cheep...
But as Tony is struggling to avoid the Spiny Cheep Cheep, he falls on his own statue, shattering it to pieces.
Crazy Packers Fan: Tony wins, to no one’s surprise!
Tony: As I figured.
Spiny Cheep Cheep: My strategy failed...
Crazy Packers Fan: On to the next battle:
#5 Boom Boom vs #4 Hammer! This should be pretty interesting, as
they will be forced to fly small airplanes
at each other and shoot Bullet Bills at each other, with one hit winning
the match.
Hammer: You mean like Aces High from Mario Party 3?
Crazy Packers Fan: Almost exactly, except that one hit wins instead of two, and there’s no time limit. Ready?
Boom Boom: Sure!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
The two jump in their planes, but being as stupid as they are, they both don’t realize how to turn the plane on and get it started.
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh brother.
Finally, Hammer gets his to take off, but he goes flying right into the stands. Meanwhile, Boom Boom gets his plane going, but can’t get it to lift off.
Crazy Packers Fan: Come on!
Boom Boom: I can’t help it!
Boom-Boom starts madly hitting buttons.
Sure enough, one of them makes him take off and another one lets
him fire a Bullet Bill right at Hammer.
BOOM!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Boom Boom wins!
Boom Boom: Good!
Hammer: Ouch...
Crazy Packers Fan: Next battle: #3 Fiery vs #6 Roto Disc! This shall be simple: just avoid Mr. Game & Watch’s attacks and you win!
Fiery: Fair enough.
Crazy Packers Fan: By the way, congratulations to Mr. Game & Watch for winning “Best Unlockable Character” for 2001!
Mr. Game & Watch: BEEP!!!
Crazy Packers Fan: Who saw that one coming? Anyway, go ahead, Mr. Game & Watch!
Mr. Game & Watch starts flipping
sausages, hammering, waving sticks of fire, headbutting, stabbing with
a
key, and attacking in many other ways
as well. Fiery barely avoids every attack, but all of them go right
through Roto Disc.
Fiery: How am I supposed to win?
Then Fiery thinks of an idea. He spits
a fireball at Roto Disc’s orb and it explodes, causing Roto Disc to
lose his invincibility. Mr. Game &
Watch hits the disc with a flag.
Crazy Packers Fan: Since Roto Disc got hit, Fiery wins!
Fiery: Yeah! All right!
Crazy Packers Fan: On to our final SMB3 Minions match of this round: #7 Thwomp vs #15 Koopa Troopa!
Thwomp: Oor!
Koopa Troopa: Okay!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now let’s see who wins this marquee matchup, a simple survival of an Amazing Flying Hammer Brother’s hammers! The first one to gets hit loses! Ready, go!
Thwomp moves strategically right into
Troopa, making him start spinning around helplessly in his shell.
Troopa looks so far out of the competition
as he starts steering right for a wall.
Thwomp: Oor!
Troopa then somehow turns around and
goes straight towards Thwomp, who in trying to avoid the spinning
shell, ends up going right into a hammer.
Thwomp: Oor...
Crazy Packers Fan: Troopa wins!
Troopa comes out of his shell, and a hammer also pops out.
Crazy Packers Fan: What’s this, a hammer?
That means you must have been hit first and we didn’t catch it!
Troopa is disqualified! The winner
of this match is Thwomp!
Thwomp: OOR!!!
Roy: Thwomps can talk, can't they?
Thwomp: Not in this story... I mean, oor!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now that all of the
“other” guys are finished battling, we go to the heart of the competition,
the Super Koopas fraction of the bracket. I am joined here at this table
by co-analysts Roy and
Larry. Some battling today, right?
Roy: You’re telling me!
Larry: It was all good except for that SMRPG thing... I couldn’t remember that moron’s name!
Axem Leader: What did I ever do to you for you to call me a moron?
Crazy Packers Fan: So, how do these match-ups stack up?
Roy: Well, let’s begin with the top,
#1 Misty Koopa vs #9 Lil Cheep Cheep. Lil Cheep Cheep barely survived a
competition with Smash, while Misty rose to the occasion with a huge blowout
of Lakitu 2000 and his
Final Fantasy friend. So I think this
one’s all falling towards Misty, and I think we won’t see an upset here.
Larry: Although Misty has the #1 seed and is the clear favorite, Lil Cheep Cheep did prove that he could pull off a victory by any margin, even if it was by a few inches. My prediction is that Lil Cheep Cheep gets a huge upset and much recognition here.
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, let’s get that battle on! Hello Misty and Lil Cheep Cheep!
Misty: Hello, and don’t be cruel!
Lil Cheep Cheep: What’s the friendly introduction for? I sense some kind of mean challenge.
Crazy Packers Fan: Oh no, nothing like that. It’s a simple Magic Carpet ride across the stadium. Of course, you’ll have to throw off some Pidgits and use three carpets each, but that’s nothing major. There’s also two roads to take, separated by a row of blocks. Are you two ready? Then go!
Misty and Lil Cheep Cheep each jump on their first carpet and toss off the crows on the carpets. Then they take off, Misty taking the low road and Lil Cheep Cheep the high one.
Crazy Packers Fan: I forgot to mention, there are some...
WHAM!
Crazy Packers Fan: ... obstacles like Whomps along the low path.
Misty: You did that on purpose, didn’t you?
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, I also added...
CHOMP!
Crazy Packers Fan: ... Chain Chomps on floating blocks on the top path.
Lil Cheep Cheep: Good time to tell me now!
The two racers slowly manage to get through the first bit of obstacles and make it to the second carpet, each throwing off their respective Pidgit, nearly simultaneously.
Crazy Packers Fan: How’s it looking so far?
Roy: I’m surprised that Misty hasn’t clinched it by now.
Larry: This is what I’ve expected the whole time.
The two Super Koopas keep riding their
carpets and come through a passage of flying Paratroopas, who try
to knock them off. With some great
maneuvering, each of them makes it by the obstacles and throws off the
third Pidgit, getting on the last carpet.
Crazy Packers Fan: I’m surprised they survived that so easily.
Roy: They’ll be having a harder time coming up here, though.
Larry simply cackles.
Misty: Hey, is that laughing a bad thing?
Podoboos start jumping out of a small
lava lake, Spiny Eggs start falling on their heads, Para-Beetles get in
the way, Albatosses drop Bob-ombs on
them, and Bullet Bills fly by.
Lil Cheep Cheep: I’m not liking this.
Each of them gets hit several times,
barely holding on to the carpet. At one point, Misty is forced to hold
on to the edge of the carpet and hope
the carpet makes it to the finish line.
Crazy Packers Fan: This should be a great finish!
At the finish line, Misty has a small edge over Lil Cheep Cheep, when the surprise of the day happens.
Misty: Why do I have that bad feeling?
Nothing happens! Misty sails past the finish line in first place, winning the match!
Crazy Packers Fan: Wow! Misty is the winner!
Roy: Yeah, I knew that it would be close, but the quiet finish was a surprise.
Larry: I really thought Lil Cheep Cheep would pull off the upset, but he didn’t.
Misty: Wow! I actually won!
Lil Cheep Cheep: Man, tough finish.
Crazy Packers Fan: On to our next match-up, #5 Rachelle vs #13 Simon! Roy and Larry?
Roy: Well, Rachelle is going to be tough to beat, although her first battle was really close. We’ll just have to see as it’s played. I give Rachelle a slight edge because of more experience.
Larry: Simon knocked off the #4 seed, Ellie, last week. That was a major upset, and I think he could do it again.
Crazy Packers Fan: Let’s see. This battle is a simple contest.
Rachelle: You say that every time!
Crazy Packers Fan: That’s because they’re simple compared to the hard ones coming next week! This is the classic Mario Party mini-game Bumper Balls. You’ll be on a surface with some small hills, and you’ll have to learn how to ride a ball. Ready?
Simon: No.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Simon can’t get on his ball, while Rachelle
can. Simon then decides to throw the ball at Rachelle. Rachelle
falls off the ball and off the edge
of the circular platform that the two fighters are on, which is only about
a foot above the ground.
Rachelle: Ouch! What a way to lose.
Crazy Packers Fan: Lose? You won! Simon is disqualified!
Simon: What?!
Crazy Packers Fan: You weren’t on your ball, first of all, and you threw it!
Simon: Boo!
Crazy Packers Fan: Congratulations, Rachelle. What do you think, Koopas?
Roy: Well, it was expected, but I’m surprised the way it happened.
Larry: Simon didn’t put the effort into it, and he lost. Simple as that. It’s too bad, I thought he could pull off the upset.
Crazy Packers Fan: On to the next battle, which is-
Roy: #3 Lord Seth vs-
Larry: #6 Arim!
Crazy Packers Fan: Your picks?
Roy: Obviously I’ll go with my second-favorite tourist. He’s unbeatable, invincible, and unstoppable at the same time. How can he lose?
Larry: This time, we’ll see Arim get the win. Arim’s smarts paid off big time last time.
Crazy Packers Fan: This is a simple
contest. Grab the magic Feather and fly to the finish, which is up there
on that high roof over part of the
stadium. The first one there wins. Ready? Go!
Both of the players grab their Feathers and start to fly. It becomes obvious early on that both actually know how to use a cape.
Crazy Packers Fan: This is giving magic Feathers a good name, but I’ve got a way of ending that.
As both near the finish line, Bullet Bills come flying from all directions, hitting both of the flyers. But Lord Seth’s invincibility causes the bullets to bounce off him. Arim tries to avoid them, but the hard maneuverability of the cape makes it hard for him to escape them, and he takes a hit.
Arim: No!
Arim hits the ground softly, but he can only watch as Lord Seth crosses the finish line for a win.
Crazy Packers Fan: So the winner is...
Roy: Lord Seth, my-
Larry: Your favorite tourist. I know. But Arim did put a lot of effort into this game today, and it just didn’t work. Maybe Lord Seth IS unstoppable.
Crazy Packers Fan: Let’s move on to
the last battle of the first round, #10 Sandslash vs #2 Husky/Washu! Any
picks?
Roy: Sandslash is my surprise pick of
the week. I didn’t think Husky/Washu would survive last week, but
this is the end for the two-character
team against a stronger Sandslash.
Larry: Husky/Washu will keep on going, trust me. In fact, I believe you could see this team in the Final Four.
Crazy Packers Fan: We’re about to see the answer to that right now. This is a simple contest, as I’m so accustomed to saying. Wart will stand over there and you will throw vegetables from this pile at him, trying to get them in his mouth. The first one to get three in wins!
Wart: I’m expecting a large payment for doing this!
Crazy Packers Fan: Okay, okay. Ready? Go!
With a two-person team, Husky and Washu get two in Wart’s mouth at the same time Sandslash gets one in.
Larry: Your pick’s looking bad now, Roy.
Roy: I know. I’ll watch some TV instead. Hmm, what’s this stupid show called? Invader Zim or something?
Misty: ZIM’S ON!!!
Washu: It is? Come on, Husky, let’s go see it!
Larry: You cheater!
Sandslash gets two more vegetables in Wart’s mouth to win.
Crazy Packers Fan: Sandslash wins!
Sandslash: Revenge is so sweet!
Roy: I guess it is.
Larry: I wish I could have revenge...
Crazy Packers Fan: So before we close for today, how do you think it’s going to play out next week, with the Sweet Sixteen?
Roy: I’d imagine all the favorites will come up with wins again, especially the 1’s and the 3’s.
Larry: I always like the underdog, but even I think quite a few of the higher seeds will win, like Roy said.
Crazy Packers Fan: It’s too early to tell.