Prologue: One if by Land and Tuna if by Sea!
Curtains rise on the Mushroom Kingdom. The camera focuses on Mario's house. Parakarry flies in.
Parakarry: Mail call!
Nothing happens.
Parakarry: I said MAIL CALL, idiots!
Cut to Mario's bedroom.
Mario: Huh, what? Oh!
Mario walks to the door.
Mario: Sorry, Paralarry.
Parakarry: Took your dear sweet time, eh? And it's Parakarry!
Mario: Whatever, Paramary.
Parakarry: I hate you.
Mario: So, what do you have for me today?
Parakarry: Well, this letter from Peach arrived in the mail. I think it says it's for you.
Mario: Well, who else would it be for?
Parakarry: Mmhmm. There's also a letter for one... "Luis"?
Mario: You must mean Luigi. He's sleeping.
Parakarry: Well, tell him he's got a letter, too.
Mario: Sure thing, Parabarry.
Parakarry: How many times... oh, forget it. See ya!
Mario: Okay!
Parakarry flies off. He is then shot by a Bullet Bill.
Bullet Bil: Bullseye!
Mario ignores this and reads his letter.
Mario: Hmm... Rogueport? Never heard of it.
Mario enters his house. Inside, Luigi is cooking Koopasta.
Mario: Luigi?
Luigi: Mmm?
Mario: I'm off to Rogueport. Peach wants me there, for some reason.
Luigi: Okay, don't kill yourself.
Mario: Thanks a ton, Weege.
Luigi: Don't call me Weege! You know I prefer Luigi better!
Mario: Sure thing, Melanie.
Luigi: ... Now that's not even remotely close to my name!
Mario: Well, best be going! Bye!
Luigi: Bye, Mario!
Mario exits.
Luigi: And good riddance.
Mario re-enters.
Mario: Oh, yes. I forgot to give this to you.
Mario hands Luigi a letter. Luigi got "Letter"!
Luigi: What the? Who said that?
Uh... nobody?
Luigi: I'm not stupid.
Aww...
Luigi: Hm. Well, let's see what it says!
Luigi opens his letter.
Luigi: (reading) Dear Sirs! I am Crepe of the Waffle Kingdom. (not reading) Pbbth! Waffle Kingdom? (reading) We have come to inform you of something horrible! Princess Eclair has been captured by Chestnut King... (not reading) Do they expect me to believe this? (reading) ...and the only way that you can find her is with the Marvelous Compass. However, it has been split into seven different parts by Chestnut King, and all we have left is the base. One part of the Compass is encrusted into Eclair's crown, so if the remaining parts are collected, the compass will point in the direction of the princess! (not reading) Okay, this is getting a tad serious. (reading) So, I have enclosed within the base. It will locate the pieces. Please help us! You are destined to! Signed, Minister Crepe.
Luigi pauses.
Luigi: Ohmigosh. Ohmigosh. I have to save a kingdom. Finally! My moment to shine!
Luigi runs out the door with a grin on his face.
Meanwhile, at the Toad Town Dock...
Mario: Say, can I get a ticket to Rogueport?
Fuzzipede: May-bee! May-bee nawt!
Mario: I wasn't talking to you.
Fuzzipede: LAWVE ME!
Mario kicks Fuzzipede into the ocean.
Mario: Anyway... can I get a ticket to Rogueport?
Chet Rippo: Heh, sure. But it'll cost ya.
Mario: How much you asking?
Chet Rippo: Your most prized possession.
Mario: Hmm... lessee here... What is my most prized possesion?
Fuzzipede: Haylp mee!
Mario: I got it!
Mario drags Fuzzipede out of the water.
Mario: Here's my most prized possesion- my pet... thing.
Chet Rippo: Hmm... Yes, it will make a nice supper.
Fuzzipede: ;~;
Mario: I'll *sniff* miss you, Fuzzipede!
Mario walks off, crying.
Chet Rippo: ... I wonder how you'll taste in a light brown sauce...
Fuzzipede: PLEESE SPAYRE MEE!
Chet Rippo: No.
In Toad Town...
Luigi is walking around Toad Town. He walks up to a Toad.
Luigi: Say, do you know where the dock is?
Toad: ***************!
Luigi: Wha?
Toad: Sorry. Tourette's, you know.
Luigi: Hmm. So, do you know where the docks are?
Toad: Can't say I do.
Luigi: Well, thanks anyway.
Toad: Don't **************** mention it!
Luigi walks off.
Luigi: What a strange Toad.
Luigi walks up to another Toad.
Luigi: Do you know where the dock is?
Minh T: Just go down from here.
Luigi: Thank you.
Luigi walks off again.
Minh T: Idiot.
On the boat to Rogueport...
Mario is walking along the deck, when he spies Toadsworth.
Mario: Hey, Toadsworth! What are you doing here?
Toadsworth: Well, I decided it would be nice to go on a vacation, so I've booked a cruise to Rougeport!
Mario: ... You mean Rogueport, right?
Toadsworth: No, good lad! This is the boat to Rougeport!
Mario: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Mario goes to the captain.
Mario: Hey! I thought I was going to Rogueport!
Flavio: It isn't my fault! Chet Rippo doesn't know how to spell!
Chet Rippo: I is a stoodent.
Flavio: How are you here?
Chet Rippo: Plothole.
Mario: How does that explain anything?
Chet Rippo: I... uh, you see...
Chet Rippo jumps ship.
Mario: You jerk!
Flavio: Well, we'll be in Rougeport in no time. Don't worry, there's a boat to Rogueport there.
Mario: How long 'til we get there?
Flavio: A day.
Mario: Argh!
Toadsworth: Oh, poppyseeds. I feel a bit ill.
Toadsworth throws up and it lands on Chet Rippo's head.
Chet Rippo: How fortunate.
At the Toad Town Dock...
Luigi goes to the ticket booth, but there's nobody there.
Luigi: What the...?
Luigi shrugs, and sits on the dock. Suddenly, a giant fish rises out of the water.
Luigi: AGH! Who are you?
Fish: My name is Mobee. I'm a giant tuna.
Luigi: But I thought you were a whale!
Mobee: Nope.
Luigi: If you're a fish, how can you breathe on la-
Mobee: Nope.
Luigi: You didn't even answer-
Mobee: Nope.
Luigi: ... Well, can I at least hitch a ride to the Waffle Kingdom?
Mobee: Yup. Which way?
Luigi takes out the base of the Marvelous Compass. It spins around.
Luigi: Oh, that helps.
The compass stops, pointing south.
Luigi: Yes! South we go!
Mobee: Yup!
So, Luigi and Mobee set off to the Waffle Kingdom, with the Marvelous Compass in tow. Who knows what will happen next?
Meanwhile, with Mario...
Flavio: Next stop, Rougeport!
Toadsworth: Oh, goody goody Goombas!
Mario: Oh, happy day... wait. Do I smell perfume?
The boat stops at a bright red dock. There is red and pink as far as the eye can see. The air reeks of cosmetics and perfume, and everything is marked with a heart or a bunny.
Mario: THIS is Rougeport?
Flavio: Well, rouge is French for red, you know!
Mario: Then, what's with the bunnies and hearts?
Flavio: They look purty.
Mario: Why do I even bother?
Chapter 1: Let's Get Ready to Rumblebump!
Curtains rise on a strange town. The buildings are made of pancakes, and the residents look vaguely like muffins. In the center of the town, there is a huge cinammon bun-shaped castle. Mobee and Luigi pull into the pier.
Mobee: Well, we're here. Waffle Kingdom!
Luigi: Finally! I was beginning to think we'd never get there.
Mobee: Well, you'd better find... who was it? Carp?
Luigi: Crepe.
Mobee: That person. I'll be going!
Mobee sinks into the water. Luigi is about to walk off, when Mobee resurfaces.
Mobee: Oh, almost forgot. You might want to take this with you.
Luigi got the Mailbox Micro!
Luigi: Mailbox... Micro?
Mobee: Like the Gameboy Micro.
Luigi: Cool.
Mobee: And if you get bored, you can always play this!
Luigi got Dr. Mario!
Luigi: Why this game?
Mobee: A certain... author said so.
Darn skippy.
Luigi: Oh well. Better than nothing.
Luigi waves goodbye, and Mobee swims away. Luigi approaches the gate of the Waffle Kingdom when he is stopped by two guards.
Muffin 1: Hey! Who said you could come in?
Luigi: Crepe.
Muffin 2: You mean Minister Crepe? He sent you here?
Luigi: Yup. I have proof.
Luigi shows the guards the letter.
Muffin 1: All clear then, Greeny. You may enter.
Muffin 2: And don't eat anything!
Luigi: Got it.
Luigi enters the gate, but not before ripping a piece off of one of the Muffins.
Muffin 2: AAAAHH!
Luigi: Mmm... cinammon.
Luigi finds himself in Donut Plaza, where the Cinnamon Castle is located. A Muffin walks up to Luigi.
Crepe: Ah, Luigi! You have arrived! It is I, Crepe.
Luigi: I guessed.
Crepe: How?
Luigi: You have a nametag.
Crepe looks at his robe. It clearly says, LHello! My name is Crepe".
Crepe: Blast. Anyways, you do know why you're here, correct?
Luigi: Yes! I have come to find all the pieces of the Marvelous Compass and locate Princess Eclair!
Crepe: Well, I guess I picked the smart one, eh?
Luigi: You could say that.
At Rougeport...
Mario: Agh. It's been at least a day. I need to get to Rougeport fast!
Toadsworth: Oh, bah, Mario! Come, enjoy the sights!
Mario: No way! This place is like Hello Kitty! It's disgusting!
Toadsworth: But I like Hello Kitty!
Mario: HAH! I knew it!
Toadsworth: Oh, blast.
Crepe: Hey!
Toadsworth: How are you here when...?
Crepe: Do not question me!
Back in the Waffle Kingdom...
Luigi is snoozing. Suddenly, Crepe rushes in from offscreen.
Luigi: Where were you?
Crepe: Nowhere.
Luigi: But I clearly saw you leave the screen and-
Crepe: (evilly) I SAID NOWHERE.
A puddle forms under Luigi's feet.
Luigi: Darn it all!
Crepe: Um... yeah. So, if you want to find all the Compass Pieces, you'll need a weapon. Take this!
Luigi got a Hammer!
Luigi: Sweet!
Luigi whacks Crepe with the hammer. Crepe passes out.
Some Muffin: Gasp! Luigi killed Crepe!
Luigi: No, he's breathing!
Some Muffin: Oh. Carry on!
Luigi: Gladly.
The Muffin walks off and Luigi starts looting Crepe. Luigi got 100 coins!
Luigi: Hey, cool! I can buy all sorts of stuff with this!
Luigi walks to the nearest item store.
Muffin: Welcome to Tart's Tchotchkes! How may I help you?
Luigi: I'll buy everything you have.
Tart: Uh... that'll be 100 coins!
Luigi: Done.
Luigi gives Tart the coins. Luigi got Mushroom x10! Luigi got Maple Syrup x10!
Tart: Come again!
Luigi: Like that'll happen!
Meanwhile, with Mario...
Mario is on a luxury liner. He is on a pool chair, sipping a Tasty Tonic.
Mario: Thank pasta the boat came!
Captain: Thank you for choosing Lakitu Liners! Our next stop- Vagueport!
Mario: NOOOOOO!
Back with Luigi...
Luigi returns to the Plaza. Crepe wakes up.
Crepe: Oh, goodness... What happened?
Luigi: You got hit in the head by a stale bagel.
Crepe: Really? I'll have that bagel arrested...
Luigi: So, where to, Crepe?
Crepe: Ah, yes, now I remember. I was about to tell you how to use the Compass. You see, if you put it in your hand and say "MAP", a world map will appear. There should be a star where the first Piece is. Now, say "MAP".
Luigi: MAP!
A world map appears. There is a star above a large volcano.
Crepe: I see. Rumblebump Volcano, if I'm not mistaken!
Luigi: You mean I have to go to a volcano?
Crepe: Well, a-DUUUUUUH!
Luigi: I don't exactly think I'm ready.
Crepe: Of course you're not! You have to go to the Pudding Continent!
Luigi: HAHAHAHAHA!
Crepe: What's so funny?
Luigi: You... said... PUDDING!
Crepe: What are you, stupid?
Luigi: No. It's just, pudding is a funny word!
Crepe: Oh, really?
Luigi: Pudding.
Crepe: HAHAHAHAHaha... hum.
Luigi: Told ya!
Crepe: Anyway, to get to the Pudding Continent, you may want to get a boat.
Luigi: It's okay. I've got a giant tuna!
Crepe: ... You're kidding.
Luigi: Nope! It's a giant tuna!
Mobee rises out of the water.
Mobee: You called?
Luigi: Yup! Take me to the Pudding Continent!
Mobee: Pbbth! HAHAHAHA!
Luigi: Okay, seriously.
At Vagueport...
Mario: No, seriously, can you tell me when the next boat to Rogueport leaves?
Toad: Soon.
Mario: You've gotta be a little more specific!
Toad: Okay. Real soon.
Mario: MORE SPECIFIC!
Toad: Well, what do you expect? This is Vagueport, after all!
Mario: Ugh. So, can you tell me when the boat to Rogueport leaves?
Toad: Soon.
At the Pudding Continent...
Mobee and Luigi arrive at the Pudding Continent. The grass is a deep brown, and the lakes have the consistency of... pudding.
Mobee: This is the place, good boy!
Luigi: Oh, boy! Pudding!
Mobee: Just go!
Luigi: Fine!
Luigi walks into the Custard Jungle...
...and hours later, he's lost.
Luigi: WHERE AM I?
???: You seem to be lost.
Luigi: Well, how long'd it take you to figure that one out?
???: I can help.
Luigi: Really? Cool! Where do I go?
???: For starters, you may want to read the signs.
Luigi walks up to a sign.
Sign: "South to Blooplantis."
Luigi: Blooplantis?
???: I live there. My name's Blooey. I'm a Blooper from Blooplantis.
Luigi: Well, do you mind helping me get there?
Blooey: No problem!
Blooey joined Luigi's party!
Luigi: Oh, yeah!
Blooey: Well, are you going to stand there or are you going to follow me?
Luigi: Right. Let's go.
At Vagueport...
Mario: Finally! The boat is here!
Mario walks onto the boat, and greets the captain.
Mario: So, where are we going?
Toad: Somewhere.
Mario: Please, could you be more specific?
Toad: Some "Rogueport" or something.
Mario: Yessss! Rogueport, here I come!
Toad: Okay. You might want to go to your cabin.
Mario: Where's that?
Toad: Below deck.
Mario: More specific!
Toad: WAY below deck.
Mario: Oh, why do I even bother...?
In Blooplantis...
Blooey: Well, here we are. Blooplantis, the Squid Capital of Waffle Kingdom!
Luigi: I don't know about you, but it's kind of... not there.
Luigi and Blooey are standing in front of a lake.
Blooey: It's underwater, moron.
Luigi: That explains it!
Blooey: Well? Come on in!
Luigi: Well, uh, I'm made of paper.
Blooey: Oh, I forgot. Miss Delicate doesn't want to get wet!
Luigi: You must not understand. If I go in there, I'll be bitten by a fish or something!
Blooey: There aren't any fish in here, I swear!
Luigi: Then what are squids?
Blooey: Cephalopods.
Luigi: Who?
Blooey: Just... hop in.
Luigi dives into the water.
Luigi: ... This is just shallow water!
Blooey: Wait.
Blooey says a few words, and they are sucked down a whirlpool.
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*gasp*AAAAAAAAH!
Blooey: Wheee!
*guh, guh, guh!*
Blooey and Luigi reememerge in a strange cavern.
Luigi: I wet myself back there, you know.
Blooey: So that wasn't ink! I don't know much about humans.
Luigi: Obviously.
Luigi follows Blooey deeper in the water until they reach a city. The city is made of shells and coral.
Luigi: It's beautiful!
Blooey: Why thank you!
Luigi: Not you, dummy. The city!
Blooey: Aw... Well, I'd better show you to the mayor.
Blooey takes Luigi to a large, Blooper-shaped piece of coral. They enter through one of the myriad holes.
Blooey: Mr. Mayor! Mr. MAYOR!
Mayor: Eh? Blooey? Whaddya want at this hour?
Blooey: I found a human, Mayor Inkly!
Inkly: Ah, bring him in!
Blooey drags Luigi into the room.
Luigi: Um, hi, Mayor Inkly.
Inkly: Why, hello to you there too... uh, what's his name again, Blooey?
Blooey: Luigi.
Inkly: Ah! You're Mario's brother, am I right?
Luigi: Right.
Inkly: Well, why are you here? Shouldn't you be sucking up ghosts?
Luigi: I'm looking for a piece of the Marvelous Compass. I need it to save Princess Eclair from the evil Chestnut King!
Inkly: Well, why didn't you say so? I think White Torpedo here can show you the way!
Luigi: White... Torpedo?
Blooey: Yeah, that's what they call me here. I'm the fastest Blooper in Blooplantis, mind you!
Luigi: Really?
Blooey: ... No. I paid him to say that.
Inkly: 1,000 coins are 1,000 coins!
Luigi: Well, do you know where Rumblebump Volcano is?
Inkly: That old place? Just exit the town and travel through the cave!
Luigi: Okay! Sounds good enough to me!
Blooey: Yeah, let's go!
Luigi and Blooey leave the mayor's office.
Inkly: ... Now I'm sad.
At Rogueport...
Mario: Well, I'm finally here. Rogueport, the meanest place in the kingdom!
Bandit: Hello, good man!
Mario: Get away from me.
Bandit: I just wanted to say hi...
Mario: Oh, all right. Hi!
Bandit: Sucka!
Bandit stole half of Mario's coins!
Mario: Great! Now I only have a half of a coin!
Bandit: Mine!
Bandit stole the other half!
Mario: D'oh!
In Rumblebump Cave...
Luigi: Th-this place gives me the creeps.
Blooey: Tell me about it. I'm inking myself just thinking about it!
Luigi: TMI!
Blooey: LOL!
Luigi: SMB!
Blooey: M&L:SS!
This continues for about an hour.
Luigi: ...OMG! We have to get going, or Princess Eclair is doomed!
Blooey: Ahh! Let's get going!
Luigi and Blooey run as fast as they can towards the volcano, until...
???: Nyahahaha! Stop right there!
Luigi: Wha?
???: The Marvelous Compass is mine!
Blooey: Who are you?
???: I'm Popple, the Shadow Thief!
Luigi: I thought I killed you!
Popple: Not likely, chum! I've come for your Compass, and my new rookie will help me!
Luigi: It can't be!
Mouser: Have some bombs!
Blooey: NOOOOOOOO! ... Who are these guys?
Luigi: Old friends.
Luigi whacks them both with his hammer.
Mouser: Have some bombs!
Luigi: Stop saying that!
Mouser throws bombs at Luigi, but Luigi tosses them at Popple.
Popple: ARGH! Mouser, you cretin! Don't throw bombs at them!
Mouser: But it's all I know how to do!
Popple: Well, throw them at the octopus!
Blooey: I'm a squid!
Popple: Shut up.
Mouser: Have some bombs!
Blooey catches the bombs and throws them at Popple.
Popple: YAAH! Mouser, you cheesebrain! Stop throwing bombs!
Mouser: Sorry, boss.
Popple: I've had about enough of you!
Popple turns Mouser into mushy hamburger. How, I don't know.
Mouser: ... Pain.
Popple: You're next, greeny!
Luigi: Eep!
Blooey: Don't worry! I'll stop him!
Blooey shoots ink in Popple's face.
Popple: Wha- I can't see anything!
Popple aimlessly runs around and into the wall.
Popple: ... Hurt.
Popple faints. Luigi loots his body. Luigi got Life Shroom x5!
Luigi: Nice.
Blooey: Well? Let's go get that Compass Piece!
Luigi and Blooey run off into the inferno of Rumblebump Volcano, unaware of the dangers they'll face inside.
Meanwhile, with Mario...
Prof. Frankly: Der darka der derrka der dah!
Mario: What?
Goombella: Frankly suffers from dementia. Apparently, he's not only lost his memory, but the ability to speak coherently.
Mario: I just lost you there.
Frankly: Deh deh dee!
Back at Rumblebump Volcano...
Luigi: It's... so... hot in here...
Blooey: I... know... how... you... feel...
Luigi: Let's... stop... talking... like... Shatner... and... get... going... already!
Blooey: Let's.
Blooey and Luigi run into a large room with an equally large statue.
Blooey: Woah... That's really big.
Luigi: Hey, look! On the statue's head!
Luigi spots a shining gold shard.
Luigi: That must be a piece of the Compass!
Blooey: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get it!
???: Halt!
Luigi: Oh, now what?
???: Nobody shall steal what belongs to the volcano!
Blooey: Look what you did. The volcano god's peeved!
???: If you want the relic, you must fight me!
The statue starts to rumble. The eyes of the statue light up, and a jewel on its head emits a piercing noise. The statue starts to get up and walk towards Luigi and Blooey!
Luigi: Gulp!
Blooey: Bloop!
COMMENCE BOSS BATTLE!
Luigi: 10/10
Attack: Hammer
Statue takes 2 damage!
Blooey: 10/10
Attack: Tattle
This is Rumblebumpa, the protector
of the first piece of the compass. He has 20 HP, 2 Attack, and 0 Defense.
You should try to hit the jewel on his head. The jewel has 20 HP also.
Once you break the jewel, Rumblebumpa will crumble!
Rumblebumpa: 18/20
Attack: Stomp
Luigi takes 2 damage!
Luigi: 8/10
Attack: Jump
Jewel takes 3 damage!
Blooey: 10/10
Attack: Torpedo
Jewel takes 3 damage!
Rumblebumpa: 18/20
Jewel: 14/20
Attack: Stomp
Blooey takes 2 damage!
Luigi: 8/10
Attack: Blooper Toss
Missed! Blooey is burned by lava!
Blooey: You idiot!
Luigi: Whoops!
Blooey: 8/10 (BURNED)
Attack: Torpedo
Jewel takes 3 damage!
Blooey is burned for 1 damage!
Rumblebumpa: 18/20
Jewel: 11/20
Attack: Stomp
Luigi takes 2 damage!
Luigi: 6/10
Attack: Jump
Jewel takes 3 damage!
Blooey: 7/10 (BURNED)
Attack: Torpedo
Jewel takes 3 damage!
Blooey is burned for 1 damage!
Rumblebumpa: 18/20
Jewel: 5/20
Attack: Stomp
Blooey takes 2 damage!
Luigi: 6/10
Attack: Jump
CRITICAL! Jewel takes 6 damage! Jewel
is defeated!
Rumblebumpa: 18/20
Jewel: 0/20
Attack: Self-Destruct
Rumblebumpa takes 20 damage! Rumblebumpa
is defeated!
Luigi gained 20 Star Points!
END OF BOSS BATTLE!
Blooey: ... We did it, Luigi! We actually did it!
Luigi: Yes! Now, let's get that Compass Piece!
Luigi searches the statue's remains and finds the golden shard. Luigi got the Gold Shard!
Luigi: I got it!
Blooey: Yes!
And so, this chapter comes to an end. Luigi and Blooey successfully got the Gold Shard, and Mario finally made it to Rogueport! Things are looking up for the two brothers! But, Princess Eclair is yet to be rescued, and it seems Popple wants the Compass too! Who knows what will happen?
Chapter 2: Plumpbelly Village In Peril!
In the last chapter of Paper Luigi...
Luigi: Mmm... cinammon.
...
Mario: NOOOOOO!
...
Crepe: Well, a-DUUUUUUH!
...
Blooey: Oh, I forgot. Miss Delicate
doesn't want to get wet!
...
Inkly: 1,000 coins are 1,000 coins!
...
Bandit: Sucka!
...
Mouser: Have some bombs!
...
Popple: I'm Popple, the Shadow Thief!
...
Prof. Frankly: Der darka der derrka
der dah!
...
And now, this chapter!
***
Curtains rise on the Waffle Kingdom. Luigi and Blooey are standing in the square with Crepe.
Crepe: Excellent! I can't believe you actually managed to get the first Piece!
Luigi: Why thank you, Crepe!
Crepe: One question, though; who is this strange cephalopod beside you?
Blooey: I'm Blooey the Blooper. Nice to meet you, Corpse!
Crepe: It's Crepe.
Blooey: Yeah, whatever. So, do you know where the next Piece is, Luigi?
Luigi: Well, I'll check the map!
A map appears in the Compass. There is a star above a large village.
Crepe: I see. Plumpbelly Village on the Strudel Continent! A fine place, if I do say so myself.
Luigi: How do I get there?
Crepe: You can cross the Bumpty Bridge, or you can just swim. Mind you, though, there are vicious Piranha Pests in there, so I don't recommend swimming.
Luigi wets himself.
Blooey: That's the third time!
Luigi: Sorry. Well, let's go to Bumpty Bridge!
Blooey: Yes! Let's!
Luigi and Blooey head to Bumpty Bridge. Crepe waves goodbye to them.
Crepe: ... Weirdos.
At Boggly Woods...
Punio: It's-a me! Punio!
Mario: Stop that.
On Bumpty Bridge...
Luigi and Blooey are standing in front of a bridge the size of the Golden Gate bridge.
Luigi: Woah.
Blooey: Big.
Luigi: ... Say, how long you reckon it'll take to cross this bridge?
Blooey: A day.
Luigi: WHAT?
Blooey: A day, duh-meeeee!
Luigi: Oh, man! The last time I walked that long...
Cue flashback!
Luigi: AAAAAARGH!
Mario: Don't worry! The lobsters and hot wax will soothe the aching, throbbing pain!
Luigi: The only thing they're doing is making it worse!
Mario: WHO'S THE DOCTOR, HUH?
End flashback!
Luigi: Eep. It still hurts just thinking about it.
Blooey: Well, we can always swim!
Luigi: What? No! There are Piranha Pests in there!
Blooey: You have a HAMMER. You can hurt them!
Luigi: ... Either way, I'm scared.
Blooey: Don't sweat it. I'll carry you over!
Luigi: I sure hope you know what you're doing...
In the Boggly Woods... again...
Flurrie: Gimme a kiss, baby!
Mario: Koops, help!
Koops: Noo-oo!
In the seas of the Waffle Kingdom...
Blooey: Whoo! We've been swimming for hours! Well, we're almost across! ... Luigi, are you listening?
Luigi: Zzzz...
Blooey: WAKE UP!
Luigi: Wha? Oh, it's you.
Blooey: Well, duh! We're almost there!
Luigi: Really? Good. I'm tired of swimming.
Blooey: You didn't swim! You rode on ME!
Luigi: Meh.
Blooey finally makes it to the Strudel Continent. Luigi gets off.
Luigi: Well, this is the Strudel Continent. I guess.
Blooey: Thank DAD we're here!
Luigi: So, where exactly is Plumpbelly Village?
Blooey: Well, maybe you should check your map!
Luigi checks his map. They are on the Plumpbelly Plains.
Luigi: It'll take us a while to get to Plumpbelly Village, but at least our feet are well rested.
Blooey: I don't have feet!
Luigi: Oh, yes. Almost forgot.
Blooey: Let's go already!
Blooey and Luigi set off through the Plumpbelly Plains, but not before encountering...
Popple: Where exactly do you think you're going, Green?
Luigi: Plumpbelly Village, what's it to ya?
Popple: Well, I heard you got the Gold Shard, right?
Blooey: Yup, and you can't have it.
Popple: Not if I have anything to say about it! Come out, Rookie!
Triclyde slithers out of a conveniently placed jar.
Triclyde 1: Well, we didn't expect you to be here!
Triclyde 2: Yessssss! You're going down!
Triclyde 3: My Grand Sssslam wasss ssssupossssed to come with ssssaussssage!
Popple: Get 'em, Rookie!
BATTLE COMMENCE!
Luigi: 20/20
Attack: Jump
Triclyde 1 takes 3 damage!
Blooey: 10/10
Attack: Torpedo
Triclyde 2 takes 3 damage!
Triclyde 1: 7/10
Triclyde 2: 7/10
Triclyde 3: 10/10
Attack: Fireball
SUPERGUARD! Luigi takes 0 damage!
Luigi: 20/20
Attack: Multibounce
Triclyde 1 takes 2 damage!
Triclyde 2 takes 1 damage!
Triclyde 3 takes 1 damage!
Blooey: 10/10
Attack: Torpedo
Triclyde 1 takes 3 damage!
Triclyde 1: 2/10
Triclyde 2: 6/10
Triclyde 3: 9/10
Attack: Fireball
GUARD! Blooey takes 2 damage!
Luigi: 20/20
Attack: Multibounce
Triclyde 1 takes 2 damage! Triclyde
1 is defeated!
Triclyde 2 takes 1 damage!
Triclyde 3 takes 1 damage!
Blooey: 8/10
Attack: Torpedo
Triclyde 2 takes 3 damage!
Triclyde 1: 0/10
Triclyde 2: 2/10
Triclyde 3: 8/10
Attack: Fireball
Luigi takes 3 damage!
Luigi: 17/20
Attack: Multibounce
Triclyde 2 takes 2 damage! Triclyde
2 is defeated! Triclyde 3 takes 3 damage! CRITICAL!
Blooey: 8/10
Attack: Torpedo
Triclyde 3 takes 3 damage!
Triclyde 1: 0/10
Triclyde 2: 0/10
Triclyde 3: 2/10
Attack: Super Fireball
Luigi takes 5 damage!
Luigi: 12/20
Attack: Jump
Triclyde 3 takes 3 damage! Triclyde
3 is defeated!
Luigi gets 60 Star Points!
END OF BATTLE!
Popple: Oh, fooey.
Popple runs away.
Luigi: ... What a wimp!
Blooey: Plumpbelly Village is just ahead, you know! Let's go!
Luigi: Oh. Yeah, let's go!
Luigi and Blooey enter Plumpbelly Village. It seems nobody's there.
Luigi: Um... Where is everybody?
Blooey: Maybe they're hiding.
???: Go, now! Before he gets you, too!
Blooey: Eh?
???: You know... HIM!
Luigi: Actually, I don't.
???: Hizza, the giant snake!
Luigi: Aah. Now I wish I didn't know.
???: Come in. I think you'll be safer.
Luigi and Blooey enter the strange house. Inside is a Bob-omb, shaped like a cherry.
Bob-omb: My name is Barry. I'm the mayor of this town, and everyone else is in their house.
Blooey: So, who is Hizza?
Barry: Well, Hizza is a giant snake that has terrorized Plumpbelly Village for years. Nobody has dared attack him, for they know he's very powerful.
Luigi wets himself.
Barry: Oh, come on. I just had that floor redone!
Luigi: I can't help it! It's an impulse!
Barry: Ugh... Anyway, we have heard of you. You are... Mario, no?
Luigi: No, I'm Luigi. His brother.
Barry: Brother? He has a brother?
Luigi: You must not play Mario much.
Barry: I've never even heard of you before. But I digress! You must stop Hizza before they sacrifice my daughter!
Blooey: *gasp* Sacrifice?
Barry: Yes, I am afraid so. Every year, someone in our village must be sacrificed to Hizza, or else we'll all be eaten!
Blooey: Oh, no! This is terrible, Luigi!
Luigi: You're right. We have to stop all this once and for all!
In the Boggly Woods...
Mario: I love you!
Puni Elder: Really truly?
Mario: No, I'm just messin' with ya!
At Plumpbelly Village...
Barry: Please, meet my daughter Jerry.
Jerry: Yo.
Barry: She is the one who is being sacrificed this year.
Luigi: She's- she's...
Blooey: Beautiful?
Luigi: Yep.
Jerry: Shut it, you.
Luigi: Aw.
Barry: Now, I want you and the Blooper to go destroy Hizza!
Luigi: And... how do we do that?
Barry: Follow me.
Barry leads Luigi into a dressing room. Blooey follows too.
Jerry: ... They're doomed. I've got to help!
In the dressing room...
Barry: Put it on!
Luigi: No! It's too girly!
Barry: If you want to fool Hizza, you have to dress up as a bride!
Blooey: What about me?
Barry: You have to hide under the dress.
Blooey: You mean I have to be in the dress too?
Barry: Yep. Now put... it... ON!
Luigi: Never!
Barry sticks a syringe in Luigi's neck.
Luigi: AH! What was that for?
Luigi blacks out.
A while later...
Luigi: ... Ugh. Where am I?
Luigi gets up and looks in the mirror. He is wearing the dress.
Blooey: Hahaha!
Luigi: You shut up! You shut up and you die!
Jerry: Wait!
Luigi: Oh, hey. What are you doing?
Jerry: You're gonna be eaten if I don't help. Let me come with you!
Luigi: Uh... okay?
Jerry joined your party!
Jerry: w00t.
Luigi: Well, we should probably be going.
Barry: Wait, Jerry! Don't go with him! You'll be eaten!
Jerry: I have to help! He's too incompetent to do it without me!
Barry: Well, I guess that's a good enough reason.
Jerry: Yay! Thank you, Daddy!
Barry: Okay. Now go.
Luigi: Let's-a go!
Jerry: Okee!
Jerry and Luigi leave.
Blooey: ... What about me? Wait up! Please?
In the Boggly Woods...
Beldam: At last, Mario. We finally do you in for good!
Mario: Your shoe is untied.
Beldam: Really?
Mario runs away.
Marilyn: Guh! Guhguhguh! GUH! (You don't have shoes! You don't even have feet!)
Beldam: Oh, butterpumpkins.
Vivian: Hahaha!
Back in Plumpbelly Village...
Jerry: Here's the place. Hizza's lair. We'd better be careful, or we'll be eaten!
Luigi: No sweat! I'm so pretty, he won't even notice!
Jerry: Please, for the love of DAD stop.
Luigi: ... Oh em gee. Is that Hizza?
Luigi points to a giant snake.
Jerry: Well, he is a GIANT SNAKE. I suppose that is!
Hizza: Who dares enter my lair?
Luigi: Me, your lovely sacrifice! Hee hee~!
Hizza: Ah. My annual sacrifice is here.
Jerry: Not so fast, freak!
Hizza: Eh? An appetizer, eh? Well, I'm getting really hungry, so I might as well eat both of you!
COMMENCE BOSS BATTLE!
Luigi: 20/20
Attack: Power Hammer
Hizza takes 6 damage!
Jerry: 15/15
Attack: Cherry Bomb
Hizza takes 4 damage!
Hizza: 30/40
Attack: Eat
Jerry was eaten!
Luigi: 20/20
Attack: Power Hammer
Hizza takes 6 damage!
Hizza: Urk... What's with this food?
BOOOM!
Jerry flies out of Hizza's stomach
in one piece. Hizza takes 4 damage!
Jerry: 15/15
Attack: Cherry Bomb
Hizza takes 4 damage!
Hizza: Argh! Now, time to unveil my
secret weapon!
Hizza brings out his tail. On his tail
is a second head!
Hizzas: So, what do you think now?
Hizza: 16/40
Attack: Double Bite
Jerry and Luigi take 5 damage!
Luigi: 15/20
Attack: Power Hammer
Hizza takes 6 damage!
Jerry: 10/15
Attack: Cherry Bomb
CRITICAL! Hizza takes 6 damage!
Hizza: 4/40
Attack: Double Bite
Luigi and Jerry take 5 damage!
Luigi: 10/20
Attack: Jump
Hizza takes 4 damage! Hizza is defeated!
END OF BOSS BATTLE!
Hizzas: Urk... I'm not done yet!
Hizza's heads go for Luigi. Suddenly, Luigi jumps and the heads collide. Hizza disappears, and everyone who was eaten is freed.
Luigi: Yes!
Jerry: Woohoo!
Suddenly, a bright red Bob-omb comes oout of the dust.
Bob-omb: ... Jerry?
Jerry: ... Grandpa!
Grandpa: Oh, it's so nice to see you!
Jerry: I thought you were... well, you know.
Grandpa: Oh, I was far from that!
Jerry: Oh, I missed you! ^_^
Luigi: Awwww...
Grandpa: Oh, yes. I've been meaning to give this to you, Jerry. I found it in Hizza's belly!
Grandpa takes out a silvery shard.
Luigi: That's- that's the Silver Shard! I need that!
Grandpa: Oh, do you?
Luigi: That's part of the Marvelous Compass!
Grandpa: Oh, dear! You must really need it, then! Well, here!
Luigi got the Silver Shard!
Jerry: We did it, Luigi! We got the second shard!
Luigi: Yahoo!
So this chapter comes to an end. Jerry was saved from being Hizza's lunch, and Luigi is one step closer to finishing the Compass! But, Eclair is still in the Chestnut King's grasp, and what about Popple? Will he have a new rookie? And will Mario ever find all the Crystal Stars? You'll have to read Chapter 3 to find out!