The Quest

By P.T. Piranha

WARIO BROS.

Wario and Waluigi are thrown out of Hotel Delfino.

Manager: That’s for cheating in the casino!

Wario: Just great.

Waluigi: Well, we can still go to Grate Guy’s Casino.

Wario: Oh, shoot! That reminds me! We have to go play poker with Booster!

Waluigi: Okay.

They get into the Wario’s Jalopy, and drive away from the Island. The jalopy can convert into a jetboat.

Waluigi: Hey, it looks like three figures are heading for DK Isles. Say, that reminds me. How come we haven’t appeared until now?

Wario: Shut up, or I’ll take more money from you!

Waluigi: Fine.
 

GOOD KONGS/KREMLINGS

DK: These guys are tough.

Diddy: Yeah.

K. Rool: Just give us the Golden Bananas!

The response is a coconut from DK’s coconut cannon, which knocks him into the distance.

Kremlings: … RUN AWAY!

Generic Kremling #1: I wonder what my brother, Croco, is doing right now.

Generic Kremling #2: I don’t know.

Generic Krusha: Nacho power!

Generic Kremlings #1 and 2: …

Generic Klump: If you get dumber, you’ll need a helmet. Like me! … Only I’m not dumb.
 

CROCO AND POPPLE

Croco and Popple wake up in Neon Heights.

Croco: YES! Just what I needed! A ritzy town to steal from!

Popple: But there aren’t any power objects here.

A Shy Guy (the creatures that live there) is walking by, holding the Misstar card.

Croco: Then what’s that?

Popple can’t answer, because he’s too busy taking it.

Croco: Now we can steal for fun.

Popple: Let’s.
 

BOWSER

Bowser has just beaten up Dodo.

Bowser: Well, the thing here is gone. Well now I can go and get the Star Rod from E-Man!

He leaves, and heads for E-Man’s studio.
 

DOOPLISS

Doopliss is on a boat to Delfino Plaza. When he’s there, he bails Beldam and Marilyn out.

Beldam: It’s about time! … Is that the Star Rod?

Doopliss: Uh, yeah.

Beldam: MINE! Now we can go punish Vivian for leaving! To the DK Isles!

She takes it.

Doopliss: Actually-

Beldam: Come with us, or I’ll kill you with this!

Doopliss: Destiny Transformation!

Beldam is turned into… Beldam.

Doopliss: …

Beldam, Marilyn, and Doopliss rent a boat to DK Isles.
 

KAMEK AND KAMMY

Kamek and Kammy are inside Yoob’s belly. It’s not as much of a dungeon as it was, as Yoob isn’t as big as he was when he ate the Mario quartet.

Kamek: Now what?

Kammy: … I’m not sure.

A giant slice of pizza squishes Kamek.

Kammy: Must be lunchtime. Good thing I brought my Brown Bag Kammy Deluxe Lunch with me!
 

MARIO BROS. AND YOSHI

Conductor: We should be there any minute now.

Mario: Good. How come it’s taking us longest to get to where we want to go?

Luigi: Probably because the author is too busy with other groups.

Yoshi: I think he’s right.

Mario: Probably.
 

EVIL KONGS

Dread Kong, Karate Kong, Ninja Kong, and Sumo Kong are walking around a random area.

Dread Kong: I can’t believe DK beat Ghastly King and Cactus King with the other Kongs the other day.

Karate Kong: He must die.

Ninja Kong: What’s that?

They see something land a few yards away.

Sumo Kong: I don’t know. Maybe it’s edible.

Dread, Karate, and Ninja: (Idiot.)
 

K. ROOL

K. Rool lands.

K. Rool: Ouch.

The martial art monkeys are there now.

K. Rool: Who are you?

Dread: Dread Kong.

Karate: Karate Kong.

Ninja: Ninja Kong.

Sumo: Sumo Kong. Got anything to eat?

The little white monkeys from DK: Jungle Beat appear, and throw coconuts at the quintet.

Random Monkey: Die!

Then, a chicken-head thing from DK: Jungle Beat appears and attempts to eat the bad guys. But the Kongs manage to best it. They run away before the coconuts hurt them even worse.

K. Rool: Say, why not join me?

Karate: I don’t know…

Dread: What’s in it for us?

Sumo: Snack cakes?

K. Rool: If you say so.

Sumo: I’m in!

Dread, Karate, and Ninja: I guess.
 

MARIO BROS.

Their boat just makes it to shore, when they see a battle ship (Commander Shroob’s) reach shore. Thinking it’s for the Kremlings, the brothers and Yoshi hurry to DK’s house.

Mario: DK! There’s-

DK: Mario! The Golden Bananas! The Kremlings are after them!

Luigi: We came to say that.

DK: Here-

Cranky Kong enters.

[Just so you know, I DON’T think that was the gorilla in Donkey Kong.]

Cranky: Mario! Did you bring those Mushroom things to this island?!

Mario: Mushroom things?

Luigi: You don’t think he means…

Yoshi: We should check.

They go out, and are shocked.
 

COMMANDER SHROOB

Commander: Shroob-omb! Go!

The Support Shroobs toss the big bomb at the Kong House.

Yoshi: *Yoshi noise of shock* Oh no!

Mario: Yoshi! You think you can swallow that?

Yoshi: I can try!

Yoshi grabs the Shroob-omb with his tongue... and swallows it. It turns into a giant egg. It’s heavy, so Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, DK, Diddy, Dixie, Lanky, Tiny, Chunky, and Cranky all toss it at the Shroob army.

Commander: OH MY DAD, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

It hits them. The impact kills everyone in the alien army except the commander and the Support Shroobs. They all are sent to who knows where.
 

GRODUS AND X-NAUTS

The X-Naut battleship makes it to where Crump and Vivian are.

Grodus: Now we can kill the competition! Get on!

As soon as Magnus 2 turns small and makes its way to Crump’s pocket, the two get onboard. And as soon as that happens, Commander and the supporters land on their ship.

Crump: That’s him! That’s the one I saw!

Two Elites handcuff the remaining Shroobs. The ship then heads off.

Crump: Where to, sir?

Grodus: A little place I like to call Pipe Land.
 

JR. TROOPA/TATANGA/WART/PETEY PIRANHA

Jr. Troopa lands in Pipe Land. There, he sees a Cobalt Star shard, and takes it. Just then, Tatanga comes.

Jr: Is that the Chuckola Reserve?

Tatanga: Yeah.

Jr: Give it to me.

Tatanga: No.

Jr: POWER!

Suddenly, he grows bat wings and a horn, and pulls out a magic staff.

Tatanga: Oh. SHINE!

The shine is about to knock Jr. out, but he casts a darkness spell that cancels it out. Wart comes.

Wart: Shine Sprites? Chuckola Reserve? They count? Sweet! Give me them!

Tatanga: No! And I don’t think that’s how you say it.

Wart: Silence, nonbeliever!

Suddenly, Petey Piranha appears.

Petey: Not only can I visit my aunt, but now I can have all these power items!

Wart: Good thing I don’t have items, so now I can be attack-free!

Petey spits goop on Wart, rendering him unconscious.

Petey: Now that the useless one is out of the way…

Tatanga: Battle!

Tatanga shines, but Petey is wearing shades made out of goop he just spit out, protecting him. Jr. shoots a spell at the other two. Petey pulls out the Emerald Star.

Petey: Clock Out!

The other two combatants are frozen in time. Actually, Jr. casts a spell to protect himself.

Jr: Ha!

Petey: Why you little!

He shoots a whirlwind at Jr’s staff, raising it into the air.

Petey: Now how will you protect yourself? Clock Out!

Jr. is frozen in time. This causes him to fall to the ground, and the staff to fall on Jr’s head. However, this cancels out the freezing that froze Tatanga. While the plant and alien battle, Wart sneaks over, and takes the Cobalt Star shard he had. The frog then punts the baby Koopa into the distance.

Petey: So you’re back?

Petey shoots another whirlwind, raising Wart into the air, where Tatanga shoots a laser at him, not only hurting him, but knocking him out of Pipe Land.

Petey: Now it’s just you and me!

Tatanga: Oh yeah.

Petey: But first…

He takes the shard that Wart took from Jr.

Tatanga: D’oh!
 

KING BOO

King Boo is thrown out of Hotel Delfino.

Manager: That’s for haunting the casino!

King Boo: Hmm. Now what?
 

E-MAN AND OCTOROCK/KOOPA BROS.

The Koopa Bros. burst in.

Red: Here come the Koopa Bros!

E-Man: You four?

Black: Yeah, and we’ve come for the Star Rod! We’ve decided to get it, before getting the Pipe Land wand, after all.

Octorock: It’s already gone. Doopliss has it.

Yellow: … Well, now we can get the Pipe Land wand.

Red: TO SARASALAND!

Black: You sound like some kind of alien princess.

Red: Tell me about it.
 

P.T./VALENTINA

Valentina and a few Birdies burst into Daisy’s castle. Suddenly, a wall opens up. Out comes P.T., a lot of Furbies, monsters from Code Lyoko, and Mr. T.

Mr. T: I pity the fool!

Valentina and birdies:…

The army easily beats the Birdies.

Valentina: Die!

P.T.: Super Fist of the Nosehair: P.T. Land!

(Yes! It’s the return of P.T. Land, from LM3!)

Valentina is transported to an area colored like Lemmy’s Land. The sky is the picture on the homepage. But instead of Lemmy (or Shrek) on the picture, it’s… Cloud Strife?

Cloud: Wait, shouldn’t I be trying to kill Sephiroth right now?

Valentina sees a bunch of Bristles heading in a direction. She follows them… and gets eaten by a sandwich. But now she’s in a dungeon.

P.T.: I’m the good cop!

P.T.: And I’m the bad cop!

P.T.: Did you do it?

P.T.: ADMIT IT! YOU DID IT, NOW YOU MUST DIE!

The cell and cops all disappear, and now Valentina is in a white abyss.

Valentina: Where am I?

Voice: WHERE DOES THE FORCE TELL YOU YOU ARE?

Valentina: What?! And why are you loud?

Voice: SILENCE, NONBELIEVER!

A piano crushes Valentina. She’s suddenly being beat up by four differently colored adventurers with swords.

Valentina: Ow! Ouch! Stop it!

Green Link: Never!

Red Link: Never!

Blue Link: Never!

Purple Link: Never!

They turn into a giant zebra that beats up Valentina. Suddenly, a giant Furby squishes her. Valentina is now in the dungeon of Daisy’s castle. The attack is over.

Valentina: This is tougher than I thought it’d be.
 

BELDAM, MARILYN, AND DOOPLISS

They’re in a boat, and it docks at the shore of DK Isles.

Beldam: Okay, Freak-sheet! Tell us where Vivian is!

Doopliss: Oh, you expect me to know?!

Beldam: Oh yeah. You’re too dumb.

Doopliss: Hey!
 

MARIO BROS. AND YOSHI/GOOD KONGS

Cranky: Mario, take the Golden Bananas. They’ll be safer in Gadd’s lab.

Mario: Thank you.

Cranky: DK, I think you should go see them off.

DK: Okay.

They walk off, when they meet Beldam, Marilyn, and Doopliss.

Beldam: You!

Mario: You!

Beldam: Where is Vivian?

Mario: I don’t know!

Beldam: Then let’s fight!

Mario: Why?

Beldam: Silence, nonbeliever!

Beldam shoots a snowball out of her hand, which is countered by a fireball from Mario’s. Luigi uses his Green Missile on Doopliss, but he gets out of the way, and steals Luigi’s name and body.

“Luigi”: Ha ha!

Yoshi tosses an egg at “Luigi”, while the shadow that once was Luigi shocks “Luigi” with Thunderhand.

“Luigi”: Ouch!

DK is running around avoiding lightning bolts from Marilyn, and then he shoots a coconut at her. When she’s hit, he moves in and does a big combo move that defeats most bosses in DK: Jungle Beat. Yes, other than DK64, that’s my favorite DK game. Back with Mario and Beldam…

Beldam: This isn’t fair!

Vivian: No, it isn’t!

Beldam: Huh? Where’d you come from?

Vivian: Grodus dropped me off.

Vivian starts fighting Mario, while Yoshi takes on Beldam.

Mario: How could you win? You specialize in fire magic! I mean, so do I, but I haves more than that!

Vivian: Oh yeah?

Vivian hides in the ground. However Mario uses Quake Hammer, which somehow affects her.

Vivian: Ouch!

Yoshi is repeatedly tossing eggs at Beldam, not giving her a chance to attack. Then he starts barraging her with ground pounds.

Beldam: Ouch!

Beldam freezes the dino, and punches him hard. But the punch breaks the ice.

Beldam: Should’ve thought of that.

Yoshi throws an egg at her, hard. Meanwhile, “Luigi” is losing to what used to be Luigi.

“Luigi”: Okay, younger Slick. You can have your body back. And name.

Luigi is Luigi again.

Luigi: Does this mean that I win?

Doopliss: No.

He jumps into the air, and dives at him. Luigi, however, hammers him into the nearby tree’s bottom. Coconuts land on his head. Well, the first one knocks his hat off, but the others hit him. Back with DK and Marilyn…

Marilyn: Guh!

DK: Leave Cranky and Wrinkly out of this!

DK punches her hard with his boxing glove from Mario Baseball. Marilyn counters with a lightning bolt. It misses, and hits a chicken-head thing that sprouted.

Marilyn: …
 

WARIO AND WALUIGI

The Wario Bros. enter Booster Tower, and see Booster, Dodo, and the Snifits laying unconscious on the ground.

Wario: What happened here?!

Booster: Oh, what happened?

Wario: We came for a game of poker.

Booster: Okay. Let’s play!
 

PETEY PIRANHA/TATANGA

The two of them are still battling it out in Pipe Land. And they jave managed to make a hole in the wall of Ludwig’s castle.

Petey: Ooh. He’ll be mad about that.

Petey spits goop on Tatanga’s techno-suit, but it hits the windshield. The windshield wipers on it wash it off.

Petey: …

Suddenly, Tatanga’s suit malfunctions. It explodes, sending the alien into the distance. King Boo appears, and takes Tatanga’s power objects.

King Boo: Guess how the suit malfunctioned.

Petey: Thanks.
 

MARIO BROS. AND YOSHI/SHADOW SIRENS AND DOOPLISS/DK

Beldam is losing to Yoshi, when she figures out something.

Beldam: I have the Star Rod!

Beldam powers up. Now she throws a giant, spiked, flaming snowball at Yoshi. Wouldn’t a flaming snowball be a paradox, or something?

Beldam: Silence, nonbeliever!

… Beldam then uses a status changing spell. Luigi is tiny, Mario is frozen in time, and DK is poisoned. And since she’s powered up, Beldam’s spells are stronger. Doopliss squishes Luigi (without killing him), Vivian severely burns Mario, and Marilyn shocks DK.

Beldam: Ha ha ha!

Beldam then knocks Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi into the distance. She forces Marilyn to leave DK there.

Doopliss: Well now that I’m done with your chores, I’m going back to E- AHHHH!

Doopliss is knocked into the distance. That happens a lot, doesn’t it?

Beldam: Let’s leave!
 

K. ROOL/EVIL KONGS/GOOD KONGS

The quintet walks upon DK’s unconscious body. After getting sinister smiles, they decided to beat up his body. But peanuts, grapes, feathers, and pineapples bombard the evil ones before they can. Suddenly, Dixie uses her hair to knock K. Rool off his feet. Then she uses her hair to throw K. Rool far, far away. Diddy then plays his guitar really loudly.

Dread: AHH! My ears! They burn!

Dread faints. Meanwhile, Karate is losing to Lanky.

Lanky: Super Fist of the Nosehair: Lanky Land!

Karate goes through the same torture that Valentina went through earlier. Meanwhile, Ninja is losing to Tiny, because even ninjas can’t move as fast as her. Chunky is also beating Sumo, because he’s not all fat. Well, Sumo IS a gorilla, but he’d still be smaller if he wasn’t fat. In short, the good Kongs are winning. The evil primates leave.

Diddy: Let’s go take DK to Cranky.
 

KOOPA BROS/P.T.

The quartet make it to Daisy’s castle.

Red: Here come the Koopa Bros!

Black: We’ve come for the Pipe Land wand!

Yellow: Die!

Green: Nacho Power!

Black: That’s it! Get the helmet!

Green: NOOOO!

P.T.: How come you were more competent when Bill and I interviewed you, then you are now, and in Paper Mario Bros?

Red: Well, Green is making us less competent. He was hit in the head during the Interview, so he was temporarily smarter. Die!

P.T.: Super Fist of the Nosehair: Summoning a Lion!

A donkey comes, and kicks the Koopa Bros. out of the castle.

Servant #1: ANOTHER Yoohoo, sir?

P.T.: YES, FOOL!

Servant #1: Yes, sir. (I hope Daisy will be back soon.)

Speaking of her…
 

PEACH AND DAISY/PEASLEY

They all wake up, and realize something.

Peach: …

Daisy: PEACH CAN’T TALK!

Peasley: Oh no! Cackletta must have gotten her voice! I sense Cackletta must be heading for Sky Land!

Daisy: Peach, just hold on! We’ll get your voice back!

They leave the castle.
 

BLACK JEWEL AND RED BRIEF J/CACKLETTA, FAWFUL AND QUEEN BEAN

The two of them are in Wonky Circus, talking to Clown-A-Round.

Clown-A-Round: What are power items?

Black Jewel: Idiot. Just follow me around.

Clown: Okay.

Suddenly, Cackletta, Fawful, and Queen Bean appear.

Cackletta: On our way to Sky Land, I thought we could take some of your items! Okay Fawful, you can have the Mamar card.

Fawful: Thank-

Cackletta: Okay.

Black Jewel: So you think you can fight? Let’s go!

Cackletta and the Jewel face off. Cackletta has an advantage, because she has more items.

Black Jewel: Up, and Away!

Cackletta turns into a star, and flies up. However, having so many Power Stars, she is immune, and returns to normal. Meanwhile, Fawful is fighting Clown-A-Round. Fawful’s headgear shoots fireballs, while Clown shoots spare heads. The projectiles are hitting each other, but not the throwers.

Fawful: Lullaby! (Why am I getting coherent?)

Clown is put to sleep. Fawful blasts him away. Queen Bean is beating up Red Brief, and doing damage!

Red Brief: No one’s been able to do that!

She tosses him away. Meanwhile…

Black Jewel: Mamar card? MINE!

The Jewel summons Unithorns to take the card away from Fawful. Then, he flies away while he’s behind.

Cackletta: Darn. Let’s just go to Sky Land. I hear the Gold Star is there.
 

X-NAUTS

Grodus, Crump, and a few soldiers go through Pipe Land, and see the battle scars from the four-way battle Petey, Wart, Tatanga, and Jr. Troopa had.

Crump: Woah. We missed out on something.

Random Elite: I’ll say.

PhD: My detector says that the treasure we came for is now in Woohoo Hooniversity.
 

PETEY PIRANHA AND KING BOO

Petey: Why are we here, again?

King Boo: I left my wallet here the other day.
 

JR. TROOPA/MARIO BROS.

Jr. (still frozen in time) lands near Gadd’s lab.

Gadd: Oh my gosh! A baby Koopa frozen in time! I’ll fix this!

Soon, a machine has fully recovered Jr. But he’s still unconscious. Just then, something crashes.

Gadd: Huh? MARIO! LUIGI!

Soon…

Gadd: What happened?

Luigi: We faced the wrath of the Star Rod.

Mario: But we still have some other power objects.

Gadd: Good. I’ll put these away.

Soon…

Gadd: Stay here, and rest up. When you’re done, you can go and get some more. In the meantime, I’ll see if I can do something about that Star Rod, in case it happens again.
 

E-MAN AND OCTOROCK/BOWSER

Bowser bursts into E-Man’s studio.

Bowser: I have come for the-

Octorock: Doopliss took it.

Bowser: Darn it! Will I ever get it?! I wonder how the others are doing.

E-Man: Well, I think I heard Doopliss say he was going to Isle Delfino.
 

KAMEK AND KAMMY

The two of them are still in Yoob’s belly. But they hear a strange noise.

Kammy: Huh?

Kamek: It must be time for… digestion!

Magikoopas: NOOOOOO!

I won’t tell you what happens next.
 

KOOPALINGS/KAMEK AND KAMMY/PRINCESS SHROOB AND YOOB

The eight children land back in Bowser’s castle.

Wendy: I can go clean myself! Hooray!

Wendy rushes off.

Ludwig: I guess we failed King Dad.

Morton: I feel horrible, terrible, bad, not good, awful, horrendous, horrid-

Roy knocks him out.

Roy: He has a point... That’s happened twice.

Suddenly, a giant, photonegative Yoshi egg breaks through the wall. They see Princess Shroob just outside.

Princess Shroob: I think these belong to you! Ha ha ha!

She and Yoob walk off.

Junior: Ludwig, what could it be?

Ludwig: I don’t know.

It hatches, revealing Kamek and Kammy, unconscious.

Iggy: Wow.

Roy: Die!

He beats up Iggy.

Larry: Why did you do that?

Ludwig and Lemmy don’t seem to care.

Lemmy: When you’re his older brother, you’ll understand.

Larry: …

Junior: Too bad I’m never a bigger brother. Because SOMEONE doesn’t want me on their site! Die!

Junior beats up Lemmy. And Larry is bored, so he beats up Morton.

Larry: Die!

Ludwig: Some days, I think I’m surrounded by morons.

Wendy: HEY! WHO STOLE MY LIPSTICK?!

Ludwig: Well, I needed a test subject, so-

Wendy: Die!

Wendy beats up Ludwig.
 

MARIO BROS/JR. TROOPA

Gadd: Okay. These special Metal Caps will protect you. And for no reason, I painted them like your regular hats.

Mario: Wow.

Luigi: Thanks, Professor.

Gadd: You’re welcome. Now go get those items!

As Gadd sees them off, Jr. wakes up. He also sees some of the power objects. He goes to steal them, when a Sentinel catches him. Read LEMMY interviews SENTINEL for more information.

Sentinel: Alert! Alert! Alert!

Jr. throws his shoots a spell at him, killing him. He then proceeds to take the items, but only gets one before an army of Sentinels catch him and throw him out of the lab.

Jr: At least I got a Cobalt Star shard!

He runs off.
 

COMMANDER SHROOB

Commander Shroob and his three supporters are chained to the wall in a dungeon cell on the X-Naut battleship.

Commander: (whispering) Hey! You remember the Mini Shroob-omb you brought?

Supporters: Yeah.

Commander: Use it.

Supporters: Where do we throw it?

Commander: Doesn’t matter. Use it.

A supporter shakes until a Mini Shroob-omb falls out of his pocket… Don’t even ask me how that happened. Anyway, the cell explodes.

Commander: AAAAHHHHHHH!

The explosion sends the commander far off. It kills the supporters and the guard.
 

PETEY AND KING BOO

The two of them are walking out of the building, with King Boo’s wallet.

Petey: Now what?

King Boo: I don’t know.

The commander lands on Petey. It knocks the Cobalt Star shard and Emerald Star out of his pocket. The commander (who is a quick healer and great opportunist) takes the items, and runs off with them.

Petey: Dang it!

King Boo: Well, we still have the Chuckola Reserve and 90 Shine Sprites.

Petey: Oh yeah.
 

DAISY AND PEASLEY

The two of them make it to the sky part of Sky Land.

Peasley: Where are those fiends?

Daisy: I don’t know. Hmmm. P.T. must be driving those servants crazy.
 

P.T.

P.T. is strangling a servant.

P.T.: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “WE’RE OUT OF YOOHOOS”?! YOU WILL GET ME ANOTHER, OR DIE!
 

WARIO AND WALUIGI

The Bros. leave Booster Tower, mad about losing the game of poker to Booster and Dodo.

Wario: Dang it!

Waluigi: What’s that?

They see the Sky Land wand in front of them. Wario takes it.

Wario: Ha ha ha! I-a got it!

Waluigi: Why did you have an accent, just then?

Wario: … I don’t know. Maybe more powerful items are around!

Waluigi: Wow.
 

BOWSER

Bowser is on a boat, and gets off. He’s at Delfino Plaza.

Bowser: Now where is that Duplighost?
 

DOOPLISS

Doopliss lands in Pecan Sands. He’s on top of the big pyramid.

Doopliss: Ow… Hey! What’s this?

He takes the Giant Land wand. Then, he turns into a Klepto, and flies away, back to the Mushroom Kingdom.
 

COMMANDER SHROOB/PRINCESS SHROOB

The commander is walking around the Beanbean Kingdom, when he meets the princess.

Princess Shroob: Ah. Commander, how did the DK Isles thing go?

Commander: We failed to get a part of the Cobalt Star shard. But I got another one from a giant plant at Woohoo Hooniversity. But I lost my entire army.

Princess Shroob: Give me that. But you can keep the green star.

Shroid: Cobalt Star shard senses tingling. One found at... Hollijolli Village.

Princess Shroob: TO HOLLIJOLLI VILLAGE!
 

KOOPA BROS/SHROOBS

The Koopa Brothers are in Hollijolli Village, with a Cobalt Star shard.

Red: Sweet! We finally got something!

Black: Oh yeah!

Yellow: Hey, what happened to Green’s helmet?

Green is seen trying to eat his helmet. All he’s doing is drooling on it, though.

Others: …

Yellow: Say, why are we named after our colors? I mean, it’s not like our parents knew we would get shells, bandanas, and boots in these colors.

Red and Black: Silence, nonbeliever!

Green: Taco vs. Pancakes! 8-ball wins!

Others: …

Suddenly, they see the Shroobs.

Red: Hello?

Princess Shroob: Give us the shard.

Red: No way!

Princess Shroob: Sunnycide!

Sunnycide appears.

Red: Uh oh, Bros. looks like it’s time for the…

Koopa Bros: SECRET WEAPON!

The brothers run away, but come back in the Trojan-Bowser.

Black: I thought Bowser said we couldn’t bring it.

Red: He said we couldn’t bring it, for getting the Star Rod. Now, we’re just getting what we want for Bowser.

Black: Oh.

The device charges into the egg-thing. Sunnycide is sent somewhere. However, an RC Shroober sends a remote-controlled bomb over to the Bowser, and explodes it. The Koopa Bros. are where it once stood.

Koopa Bros: Ouch.

Red: Bros, it’s time for our special move!

They stack up on each other. Then they head straight towards the princess, knocking her away.

Black: Cool!

Other Shroobs: AAHHHH! THEY BEAT THE PRINCESS! THEY MUST DIE!

The Shrooboids start spinning towards the Ninjakoopas. Red (stacked on Black) collides with Elder, and Green (stacked under Yellow) collides ith Junior. Junior is weaker, so he is beaten by this. But Elder knocks Red and Black out.

Yellow: Oh my DAD!

Green: No seriously. Who brought the chips and dip?

Yellow: …

Yellow throws Refreshrooms at Black and Red. They awaken, and all four stack up to take out Elder. Brat tosses lollipops at the Bros, but they’re moving so fast (to charge him), the candy bounces off, and they knock Brat away. Yoob throws (giant) photo-negative eggs at the Bros. They are about to do the Shell-Stack Attack again, but they have run out of MP.

Black: Now what?

Red: Refresh!

The Bros. each regain 5 HP and 5 MP.

Black: Cool! So that’s what the card does!

They try to attack Yoob, but he just sticks out his tongue and sticks it to the Bros. in their stack. He then retracts the tongue into the mouth. He chews, and spits the Bros. out. However, Yoob was careful to not spit out the shard. He still spit out the Eldstar card, because he thought it was useless. As they’re flying through the air…

Red: Well, at least we still have the Eldstar card!

Black: I guess.

Yellow: That’s not enough to give to Bowser.

Green: I swallowed the helmet.

Red, Black, and Yellow: …

Red: Maybe we should get some help.

Yellow: I think Green is the only one that needs help.

Red: … I mean backup!

He dials a number.
 

VICTOR

A Dark Koopatrol (not Kyle) with a scar on his left eye (like Scar on Lion King) and a black, tattered cape answers his cell phone.

Victor: Hello? … Why do I want to help idiots like you? … How many people do I get to fight? … Okay.

He hangs up. He then pulls out a giant sword, and runs off.
 

CACKLETTA, FAWFUL, AND QUEEN BEAN/DAISY AND PEASLEY/JEWEL

Cackletta just made it to Sky Land. After retrieving the Grass Land wand from the ground part, they fly up to the sky part, when they see Peasley and Daisy. Little do they know, the Jewel is following them.

Cackletta: You again? No matter! We just beat up a few of the tougher bosses from Wario World. We can beat you!

Peasley: (pulling out his sword) We’ll see about that.

Cackletta becomes big, and summons lightning. Peasley dodges it. She then summons holes, but Peasley is on his hover-bean… thing, so he can’t be affected. He reaches her, but Fawful gets in the way. He simply slashes Fawful, who falls down one of his mistress’ holes. Peasley then slashes Cackletta, who becomes regular-sized. Queen Bean then knocks out the prince.

Daisy: PEASLEY!

Daisy swings an iron bat at the queen, then an iron tennis racket. They do little to no damage. Then, the Jewel summons Unithorns to take the Power Stars from Cackletta.

Black Jewel: Now I’m powerful!

He does a tentacle spin, and knocks out Daisy. Then…

Black Jewel: Lullaby!

He puts the queen to sleep. Peasley wakes up, and slices the tentacles off of the Jewel.

Peasley: Ha! I disarmed you!

Black Jewel: … That was just sad.

Peasley: … I guess you’re right. But now you have no tentacles.

Black Jewel: But with all the Power Stars…

Suddenly, he grows four more tentacles. Then four more. Then two more… Eventually, the Jewel shatters, revealing a creature similar to the beastly Elder Princess Shroob. However, it is not wearing her clothes or crown, and the head is shaped like a circle, still with that one eye.

Peasley: 0.0

The Jewel Demon turns Peasley into a green Mushroom. He then turns Fawful, Cackletta, Queen Bean, and Daisy into Mushrooms. Then, he takes all their power items. He then turns back into jewel form (with four tentacles), and throws the five Mushrooms down to wherever.

Black Jewel: … And that’s the advanced power of the Power Objects.
 

X-NAUTS

Crump: THE PRISONER HAS ESCAPED! THE OTHER THREE DIED!

Grodus: Hmm. Wait, cancel the trip to Woohoo Hooniversity! The same object is near Hollijolli Village! We must go there!
 

SMITHY GANG

Smithy: Why haven't we appeared for a while?!

Yaridovich: The author was busy. Say, why haven’t the seven Star Pieces been included?

Mack: I think the author said something about not knowing what colors they are, thus not being able to include them. Not to mention, they don’t count, since they’re now part of Star Road. We can’t steal a place.

Yaridovich: Ah. What should we go after?

Axem Yellow is seen eating the centerpiece of the Cobalt Star.

Smithy: Give me that!

He takes it.

Smithy: I think this is one of them items! Bwahaha! Now it’s ours! Let’s go look for others!

Mack, Bowyer, Yaridovich, and Axem Rangers: Okay.
 

BOWSER

Bowser: What do you mean he went to DK Isles?!

Pianta Person: He did! You can rent a boat.

Bowser: Fine.

He goes to the boat place, and passes the Shadow Sirens. He sees the Star Rod Beldam is holding.

Bowser: Give me that rod!

Beldam: Never!

Bowser breathes fire on Beldam, doing severe damage, as her attribute is ice. The other two are knocked out. He takes all their treasure.

Bowser: Bwahaha! I’ve got what I wanted! Back to the castle for me!

He summons the Clown Copter, and flies back home.
 

DOOPLISS/CROCO AND POPPLE

Doopliss turns back to normal, and lands in front of E-Man’s studio. Then, Croco runs by, and steals the Giant Land wand from him.

Doopliss: Oh well.

E-Man comes out with Octorock.

E-Man: How’d it go?

Doopliss: Beldam took my Star Rod.

E-Man: What?! We’ve got to go get it! And I know just the two guys to help us.
 

P.T./KOOPA BROS/VICTOR

P.T. is tossing jelly donuts at Victor, who chops them as they come to him.

Red: Come on! Just give us the Pipe Land wand!

P.T.: NEVAH! SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: MINIVAN ATTACK!

P.T. tosses a (fully loaded) minivan at Victor. But he slices it.

P.T.: (Oh my DAD! He’s beating my attacks!)

The Ninjakoopas do their Shell-Stack Attack, while Victor charges at P.T.

P.T.: (in ridiculous voice) Oh no!

P.T. tosses a boomerang, but Victor slices it. Just then, a Super Thwomp smashes the five Koopas. It turns into Doopliss.

Doopliss: Don’t get the wrong idea. I still hate you.

P.T.: Just like when you tried to kill me with that rocket during that Shy Stack Interview? Good thing I beat that.

E-Man, Octorock, and Stinger 2 appear.

E-Man: We need your help in getting the Star Rod. Also, I hear that the Black Jewel is ultra-powerful. Are you in?

P.T.: Okay.

Octorock: Now, we just need Kody.

P.T.: But who will watch Sarasaland?

Shrike: I’ll take care of that.

P.T.: Okay. TO KODY’S CASTLE!

The Fellowship of the Star Rod leave Daisy’s castle, for Kody’s.

Shrike: Hey! Someone get rid of these guys!

Servant: Yes, sir. Would you like a Yoohoo?

Shrike: … Yes.
 

WART

Wart wakes up back in his castle. He’s in his room. Nick and Susan are watching him.

Wart: What happened?

Susan: Someone told us you were beaten up in Grand Canal, then in Pipe Land. We saw you crashland outside, so we took you in.

Wart: But I must go get the-

Nick: No! You’ve been mauled twice! We’ll go!

Wart: But you couldn’t beat the giant alien brat. I think I’m going to just give it up now.

And with that, Wart is officially out of the contest.
 

MARIO BROS.

The Bros. are going to the castle to get the Power Stars for Gadd, when they get inside.

Mario Bros: MAMAMIA! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Toad: PEACH’S VOICE IS MISSING, AND WE FOUND THESE!

He shows them four green Mushrooms and one yellow one.

Luigi: So?

Toadette: The yellow one was Daisy!

Luigi: WHO DID THIS?!

Toadette: I think the Black Jewel did this! I also think the green ones were Peasley, Queen Bean, Cackletta, and Fawful!

Mario: That jewel will pay. Wait 'til P.T. hears this. Maybe we shouldn’t tell him.

Luigi: We need the Power Objects. Gadd will have to let us have them, to stop the jewel!

Mario: Let’s go.

Eventually…

Gadd: I see. And I understand. Destroying the jewel is the only way to reverse the spell.

He gives them the Power Objects the Marios retrieved, minus the shard Jr. Troopa stole.

Luigi: That jewel must die.

Mario: But first, we must get the remaining items.

Gadd: Take these. They’re these.

He gives the Poltergust 3000 to Luigi, and Fludd to Mario.

Gadd: They’ll help.

Mario Bros: Thank you.

Fludd: Let’s go.

They leave, to find the remaining items.

Read on!


 
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