|
Blooper: Letting him into the Arena was my mistake. The rest are this guy's. |
Rip van Fish: Name me a character lamer than this guy, and I'll name you an idiot. |
|
|
Fishbones: I can't say much for this guy either, but he is better than those other two. |
The referee:
The announcer:
***
Amazing: Welcome to Roy's Sports Hall, here on this amazing day! Why is it amazing? Because three of the previous champions will be fighting in the ring in what promises to be an amazing battle! Who are the amazing champions? Well, I'll tell you! In the Red Corner, known for making the most mistakes ever, it's Blooper!
Blooper: I'm... I'm facing the wrong way, aren't I?
Amazing: In the Green Corner, he sleeps twenty-five hours a day, it's Rip van Fish!
Rip van Fish: Zzz...
Amazing: And in the Blue Corner, he used to be a Cheep Cheep until Mario ate him for dinner, it's Fishbones!
Fishbones: Um, that never actually happened.
Amazing: But of course it did! And now, our amazing analyst, who has never yet been wrong, I give you the one, the only, Larry Koopa!
Larry: Er, thanks. Well, I'm going with Blooper to win... but only because Rip van Fish won't ever wake up, and Fishbones won't be able to actually touch anything.
Amazing: Amazing! But now, the moment you've all been waiting for, not the battle, but a chance to see ROY, KILLER, KOOPAAA!!!
Roy: Well put! The Tourist of the Week is... Fungiman!
Fungiman does not respond because he is too busy drawing to notice that his name's been called.
Roy: And for anyone who might be stupid enough to care, I Larry Koopa I won last week.
I Larry Koopa I: I care!
Roy: Good, then strap him down with Fungiman.
I Larry Koopa I: Wait! I don't care!
Roy: Too late. Now let's battle.
Amazing: Yes, of course. Mastadoom, start off this amazing battle!
Mastadoom: Alright, but bewarned, there is a large amount of doom in the air.
Fishbones: And just what does that mean?
Mastadoom: You'll find out soon enough, I'm sure. Ready for doom? Then die! Er, fight, I mean.
Blooper: Ink Blast!
Fishbones: Bone Toss!
Rip van Fish: Zzz!
Amazing: And we're off to a great start! Blooper hits Fishbones with some ink, but all it does is change him from white to black. Fishbones' bone bounces off the sleeping Rip van Fish, who continues... sleeping.
Fishbones: Boney Fin!
Blooper: Tentacles!
Crunch! Rip!
Blooper and Fishbones: ... Ow.
Rip van Fish: Zzz...
Amazing: Fishbones and Blooper try strong physical attacks, but each counters the other's and loses a limb. They're not going to beat each other that way.
Blooper: Oh yes I am! Fishbones will run out of limbs before I do!
Fishbones: No! Wait... um... darn!
Rip van Fish: Zzz...
Blooper: Tenta-
Amazing: All of a sudden, Dr. Mario's fever theme starts to play, for no apparent reason. Equally mysterious, Blooper and Fishbones find themselves compelled to dance. Rip van Fish promptly wakes up and joins them.
Rip van Fish: Whoa, I have happy fins!
Blooper: What's going on? Did I make a mistake again?
Fishbones: Probably, but I hope-
CRACK!
Mastadoom: Fishbones was doomed to lose, and did.
Amazing: Oh, amazing! Fishbones was dancing so fast that his joints simply separated! He won't be able to continue fighting in that condition!
Rip van Fish: I won't go down that way!
Blooper: In case you've forgotten, you're weaker when you're awake.
Rip van Fish: What? Uh oh, I goofed!
Blooper: Hey, that's my job! Rhythmic Slap!
Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
duh duh duh SLAP!
Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
duh duh duh SLAP! SLAP!
Duh duh duh duh SLAP! Duh duh duh
duh SLAP!
Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh SLAP!
SLAP! SLAP!
Amazing: Spectacular! Incredible! Simply amazing! Blooper just pummeled Rip van Fish into oblivion, in time to the music no less. But is it enough to knock Rip out?
Mastadoom: In a word, yes.
Blooper: I didn't goof! I won! I'm on a roll! I'm... I'm going to win the Fighting Crown!
Mastadoom: Don't get too excited. I see doom in your near future.
Blooper: Aww...
Amazing: So there you have it. In an incredibly amazing battle, Blooper has defeated Rip van Fish and Fishbones, and will battle the three-week winners next battle for a round four spot. See you then!
Roy: Grr... I'm gonna kill you, Larry!
Larry: What?! What did I do?!
Roy: You guessed right, so now I don't get to have any fun!
Larry: Oh fine, I'll just guess wrong next week then.
Roy: Thank you.
Larry: ... End transmission.
The winner:
The loser:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
