|
Petey Piranha: He can fly, he can golf, and he can drive. But can he fight? |
Wrench
|
|
Wrench Guy: His aim is good and his weapons tough, but this week's opponents will not be easily hit. |
Gooper Blooper: A pushover for Mario, but against someone without grabby hands... |
The announcer:
The referee:
***
Popple: Heh, don't forget to stop by Popple's Used and Stolen Autos any time you need a cheap, fast, possibly dangerous getaway car!
Roy: Get out of the way punk.
Roy pushes Popple down a flight of stairs.
Kamek: Welcome, sports fans, to another week here at Roy's Sports Hall! Let's get everything started off then, huh? In the Red Corner, the master of the Piranha Plants, the king of sludge, Petey Piranha.
Petey: Gablaaaaaahahaha!
Kamek: (wiping sludge off his face) Ew. In the Blue Corner is his opponent, the king of the ocean, the ruler of the Bloopers-
King Kalimari: Actually, I am leader of the Bloopers.
Kamek: Shut up. Gooper Blooper!
Gooper: Hablahblahblahblah!
Kamek: So, Roy, please tell me you will be referring today.
Roy: Um... nope!
Pokey: Hi.
Kamek: Why must you torture me?!
Roy: I don't need anymore questions to answer! I'm still stuck on a question I was asked a few years ago...
~Cue Flashback~
Little Girl: What's two plus two?
Roy: Um...
~Back in present~
Roy: One of these days I'll give that girl an answer... Oh, right, the battle. Go ahead and start, Pokey!
Kamek: Wait! We forgot to ask Larry's pitiful prediction!
Larry: I've been strapped here all week! Does anyone care?!
Roy: No. And quit asking questions!
Larry: Petey Piranha must win! After all, he's a plant!
Kamek: Another prediction from Larry, folks!
Pokey: Fight.
Petey Piranha: AAAAWAAAAWAAA!
Kamek: Petey has spit sludge all over Gooper Blooper! That's gross. At this point, I'm kind of glad I never have to get in the ring again!
Roy: Wait, wait a minute! You two are getting sludge all over my ring! Fight on a tarp or something.
Kamek: And the two have moved the fight to a tarp set up next to the ring that Roy tends to use to quickly get rid of the bodies!
Roy: Don't tell them that!
Kamek: Hey, Roy, didn't you know that Petey Piranha and Gooper Blooper use sludge?
Roy: What? I've only ever gotten one Shine Sprite in Super Mario Sunshine, so I never saw them! And stop asking questions!
Kamek: Fine, fine.
Gooper Blooper: AWAWAWAWA!
Kamek: Gooper Blooper has begun slapping Petey with his tentacles! It looks like Gooper Blooper has the upper hand in this fight!
Petey Piranha: AWLAWAAAA!
Kamek: Boy, I wish we had translating machines or something set up...
Roy: We do. It's just that I don't feel like paying the electric bill to turn them on.
Kamek: Then how are the lights-
The lights go out.
Kamek: Anyway, Petey has done a repeat of what Gooper Blooper did. The two are slapping each other repeatedly! Yep, nothing else happening. *yawn* I wonder what's for dinner tonight... or when Wendy or Iggy'll ever actually have a fight in the Sports Hall... or why I'm stating this out loud...
Petey: AWLWAA!
Kamek: Petey has pulled a lightning bolt out. What's this supposed to do?
Petey throws the lightning bolt.
Kamek: Hey! Why does this table look so much bigger?
Pokey: He shrunk everyone but himself.
Kamek: That's a long sentence for you...
Petey Piranha: Hablah!
Kamek: Petey Piranha has grabbed Gooper Blooper and wrapped him in the tarp.
Petey: Hua!
Kamek: Petey has started jumping up and down on Gooper Blooper. Wait, everyone's returning to normal!
Gooper Blooper: Hahauahau!
Kamek: Gooper Blooper has wrapped Petey Piranha in his tentacles. And now he's squeezing Petey Piranha to the point that he's starting to lose consciousness.
Petey Piranha: Ha... blah... agwaaaa!
Kamek: Petey has bitten Gooper Blooper on the tentacle!
Petey Piranha: Abwa!
Kamek: Petey Piranha has broken free!
Petey Piranha: Ooguar!
Kamek: Petey Piranha has thrown a Yoshi Egg at Gooper Blooper!
Gooper: Haqueque!
Kamek: And now Gooper Blooper has covered Petey in some type of yellow ink!
Petey Piranha: Haque ooch! Haque! HAQUE!
Kamek: Petey is trying to fly but is stuck to the ground! And now Gooper Blooper has begun slapping him with his massive tentacles!
Petey Piranha: Haqupo!
Kamek: Petey has spat orange goop into the eyes of the Gooper Blooper and pulled out a Spiny Shell!
Petey Piranha: Gloobpar!
Kamek: That was a huge explosion, but it hurt Pete too! Oh wait a minute, Petey has been freed from the ink by it!
Petey: Okurp. Glampedo!
Kamek: Petey pulled out a golf club!
Gooper: Ooquar!
Kamek: Gooper Blooper has pulled out a scoop ball cup?! What's next, Pokey's going to end a sentence with a question mark? The two Sunshine bosses are fighting against each other using the gaming equipment like weapons!
Petey Piranha: Haquee!
Kamek: Gooper has knocked the golf club
out of Petey's hands... err, arms. Now Petey has begun
biting Gooper again!
Gooper Blooper: Ahwaaaaj! Ahwaaaaj!
Kamek: A cartoon fight cloud thing has appeared! You know that means the battle's gonna be over soon... Boy, something like this tends to take a long time, doesn't it? *yawns again* Oh, now the cloud has cleared... there's Petey but where is Gooper Blooper?
Petey Piranha: *burp* Hachu ausci!
Kamek: Petey has eaten the Gooper Blooper!
Pokey: Petey Piranha wins.
Roy: I've finally got the answer! It's four!
Roy runs off happily.
Kamek: Oh... kay... I guess I'll have to do the honors today.
Larry: BlagidiblagidiblagidiblagidiblagidiblagidiblagiblagidiAAG! End transmission! Yay Petey!
The winner:
The loser:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
