Season Six

The Red Corner King Boo: The ruler of all things Boo. But the fool of all things else.		The Green Corner Axem Yellow: What a tub of lard! I guess being made of metal wasn't enough for him to diet.
	The Middle Petey Piranha: The first to be stuck with middling duties, he is tough, though.
The Yellow Corner Donkey Kong: Is he even a villain? I guess, if you tick him off.		The Blue Corner Bowletta: Is this even a real character? Gad, what a nightmare.

***

Roy: Welcome, once again, to another exciting fight at Roy’s Sports Hall! Today we have an event almost more historic than when the Koopalings appeared in Mario and Luigi–A FIVE-PERSON BATTLE ROYALE!

Kamek: That’s right! And to announce it, once again, the amazing Kamek!

Fawful: HEY!

Kamek: SILENCE SPELL!

Fawful: …! ……!!!! !!!!!!

Kamek: He sounds like Manta Storm. Anyways, let’s introduce our contestants. First, in the Red Corner, we have our current champion, the king of ghosts, King Boo!

King Boo: HYEEHEEHEE! No problem!

Kamek: In the Blue Corner, we have that electric tub of lard, Axem Yellow!

Axem Yellow: Hey! At least I’m not as fat as Gourmet Guy!

Kamek: In the Yellow Corner, we have… um… DK?! I thought he was a Mario friend!

DK: OOK! DK evil in first Mario game ever!

Kamek: Oh, that’s right. In the Green Corner, we have what happened when Cackletta took over Bowser’s body, Bowletta!

Bowletta: HAH! I’m invincible!

Kamek: And for the first time, we have a contestant in the middle! Meet the giant walking Piranha Plant in a speedo, Petey Piranha!

Petey Piranha: GLABLARRRG!

Roy: And now for the never-correct prediction from Larry!

Larry: Well… I’ve never really judged a five-person brawl before, but I think that Petey Piranha’s the clear winner. He can out-match DK in physical strength, he can probably inhale King Boo, and probably put out Axem Yellow and Bowletta with his mud!

Roy: We’ll see. Now then, who’s the referee?

Larry: I am again. Now, FIGHT!

DING DING DING!

Petey Piranha: GLARRG!

Kamek: And Petey Piranha has started by flying up over the arena!

Axem Yellow: No flying will keep you away from my… AXEM BOLT!

KA-ZAP!

Petey Piranha: ARGGG!

Kamek: And now Axem Yellow blasted Petey Piranha with a thunderbolt!

DK: DK think you talk too much. Simian Slam!

WHAMMO!

Axem Yellow: AUGH!

Bowletta: NOOAUUUGH!

King Boo: HYEEHEEHEE! No shockwave can hit me! Spike Bomb!

KABLAM!

DK: NOOOOOO!

Kamek: Now DK used a shockwave attack and hit Axem Yellow and Bowletta, but King Boo blasted him!

Petey Piranha: LARRRRG!

FLURP!

DK: HOT HOT HOT!

Kamek: It looks like Petey Piranha’s learned some new moves, spitting out lava paint all over DK!

Bowletta: Fireball attack!

FOOM! FOOM! FOOM!

Axem Yellow: Ha! You missed!

Bowletta: I was intending to do that. Suction!

VWOOOOOO!

Kamek: And now Bowletta shot some fireballs at Axem Yellow, then inhaled them back in and healed herself!

Axem Yellow: Nice try. AXEM TACKLE!

BAM!

Bowletta: AUGH!

DK: DK Spin!

FWOOSH! SPLURT!

Petey Piranha: GLAAGH!

Axem Yellow: ARGH!

Bowletta: YOWCH!

King Boo: NOOOAUUGGHH!

Kamek: Axem Yellow tackled Bowletta, and then DK used a spinning move to shower lava paint over everyone!

Petey Piranha: GLAGH AGH!

SPLURT!

Bowletta: Ha! You missed!

Piranha Plant: Feed me, Petey!

CHOMP!

Bowletta: OW!

Kamek: Now Petey Piranha spat mud onto the ground and summoned a Piranha Plant to bite Bowletta! She’s taking a beating!

Bowletta: Time to heal myself again! Fireball!

FOOM! FOOM! FOOM!

Axem Yellow: Nice try, fool. I know your attack pattern! AXEM BESERK THRASH!

SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH!

DK: OOK!

Petey Piranha: GLAAAAAAAG!

Kamek: Bowletta tried to heal herself again, but Axem Yellow swung his axe in erratic patterns, not only destroying the fireballs but damaging DK and Petey Piranha badly!

Axem Yellow: Huff… That took… huff… a lot of… huff… energy… ugh.

Kamek: It looks like Yellow’s out!

Bowletta: GRRRR! NOW I’M MAD! METEOR… SMASH!

Shoom woom shoom BOOM!

Axem Yellow: …

Petey Piranha: AGGG!

King Boo: AUUGHH!

DK: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! OOOK! OOOK! Ook… No more melons… Oof.

Kamek: And in a stunning turn of events, Bowletta has turned into her dark form and cast… was that Meteor Smash? I thought that was Grate Guy’s attack! And now DK’s been knocked out!

Bowletta: I learned it. Fireba–

Axem Yellow: PSYCHE!

Bowletta: WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE OUT!

Axem Yellow: Axem Possum attack. Works every time. Now, feel my wrath! AXEM… BODYSLAM!

WHAM!

Bowletta: NOOOOO! Feeling… weak…

FOOF!

Bowser: Huh? Where am I?

Kamek: And Axem Yellow has come back in a stunning fake-out! He’s knocked Cackletta straight from her host’s body! I think that means that Cackletta is out.

Axem Yellow: Yeah! Don’t mess with me!

King Boo: Obviously you don’t know my trump card! Aqua Blast! HYEEHYEEHYEE!

FOOM! FOOM! FOOM!

Axem Yellow: Ack! No! I’m rusting… Can’t move… OH NO!

King Boo: And… SPIKE BOMB! HYEEHYEEHYEE!

KABLAM! BLAMMO!

Axem Yellow: NOOOOOOoooooo…

Kamek: King Boo rusted Axem Yellow with his… um… spit attack… and then blew him away with a bomb! That was fast! We’re down to two fighters already!

King Boo: Which brings me to you, Piranha. How will I defeat you? Squirt water at you? Crush you with Boolossus? Spin you around until you fall down? NYA HA! I WIN!

Petey Piranha: BLAGG!

SPLURT!

King Boo: Hah! I’m immune to your mud paint! Now I think I’ll… LICK YOU INTO SUBMISSION! HYEEHYEEHYEE!

Petey Piranha: LAGAGAG!

SPLOOGE!

King Boo: NO! LIGHTNING PAINT! ON MY TONGUE?! BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGDIAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

KaaaaaBLAMMO!

Larry: And Petey Piranha wins!

Kamek: I don’t believe it! Petey Piranha shot lightning paint at King Boo, shocking him just like Manta Storm did! I guess Petey Piranha is our first five-man battle royale winner!

Petey Piranha: BLAG AG!

Roy: Wow, you actually guessed right. But who am I going to shock?

Larry: Well…

Fifteen minutes later…

Fawful: ….!…!!!.!!!!!……!…!……!

Larry: Which translates to… ”BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGGG! END TRANSMISSION!”

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.