|
Bogmire: He's not even all that spooky, really. Just ugly and depressing. |
 |
Yoob: I get that he can eat you, but I hear his stomach isn't even that strong. |
|
Waluigi: He's cunning, but he's also obvious that he's cunning, which is dumb. |
|
|
Sunnycide: No one should have a weak spot, but then when you show it off... |
|
Bonetail: He should be fine as long as Death doesn't show up to collect, with interest. |
The announcer:
The referee:
***
Cortez: Welcome, señores y señoras, to Roy’s Sports Hall!
Roy: Hey, that’s right, you’re announcing, aren’t you? And that means… Kamek isn’t! WOOHOO!
Kamek: I have a vague feeling that you don’t want me here.
Roy: Yeah. Go away.
Kamek: Fine! I’ll leave! But mark my words, I SHALL RETURN!
Roy: Wow, that was dramatic. Cortez, introduce the fighters!
Cortez: With pleasure, amigo! In the Red Corner, we have the gooey ghost, Bogmire!
Bogmire: …
Cortez: In the Blue Corner, we have the skeletal dragon, Bonetail!
Bonetail: AROOOOOO!
Cortez: In the Yellow Corner, we have the freakish alien egg-thing, Sunnycide!
Sunnycide: #@*! @#(*&&!
Cortez: In the Green Corner, we have the Shroob version of Yoshi, Yoob!
Yoob: @#(*$&@#!
Cortez: And finally, in the Middle, the only person who can actually speak, Waluigi!
Waluigi: Wa-ha! Fear-a my tricks!
Roy: Okay, let’s go to Larry for the prediction!
Larry: Okay, all of these contestants have their strengths and weaknesses. However, the contestant I think will win is Bonetail. After all, Bonetail can probably kill Waluigi in a few seconds, and can probably defeat the Shroobs, so his only opposition really is Bogmire.
Roy: Uhhh… thanks, I guess. Pokey, start the match.
Pokey: Fight.
GONNNG… ONNG… onng…
Bogmire: …
Waluigi: WHOAWHOAWAAAAAA!
Cortez: And Bogmire has started the match with a huge shadow ball aimed directly at Waluigi!
Waluigi: This-a isn’t good! Shadow Form!
SHOOP!
Bogmire: …
FOOM!
Waluigi: WHA?!
Kamek: And Waluigi then tried using his shadow abilities, but Bogmire still managed to hit him!
Cortez: Ahem.
Kamek: Eh heh… heh… FAST BREAK!
Bogmire: …
Bonetail: AROOOOOOO!
VWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cortez: Bonetail is now trying to– OOMPH!
Kamek: Suck up Bogmire!
Bogmire: …
SHOOMP!
Bonetail: Aroo?
Kamek: Bogmire,
however, cloned himself, and Bonetail– ARK!
Cortez: Inhaled the wrong one!
Bogmire: …
SHOOP SHOOP SHOOP SHOOP SHOOP SHOOP SHOOP!
Bonetail: AROOOOOOO!
FWISSHHHHHHH… CHINKCHINKCHINKCHINKCHINK!
Bonetail: A…roo…
Yoob: @#(*$&@#(*!
TUNG!
Bontail: Aroo!
Fwing! Thik!
Yoob: @#(*&?
Cortez: However, even though Bogmire created lots of clones of himself, Bonetail froze them all, and then chucked the real one on Yoob’s tongue!
Kamek: Aqua Blast!
FLOOM!
Cortez: NYEERRRGHH!
Kamek: This has been an exciting match so far, folks!
Sunnycide: @#(*&@)(&@!
THOOMP!
Kamek: Sweet goobers! Sunnycide forced HIMSELF into Yoob’s mouth!
Cortez: Bone Punch!
WHOMP!
Kamek: OUCH!
Cortez: Let’s go to our Yoob Intestine Cam to see what’s going on.
Sunnycide: @#*&!
CHUNK!
Bogmire: …
Sunnycide: @(#*&&@(*!
WHOOSH! WOOSH! WOOSH! WOOSH!
Sunnycide: #$@(*&@&??
Bogmire: …
KA-FLAOOOOOM!
Sunnicide: @#(*&…@#(*&…#)(…@.
Cortez: Amazing, amigos! Sunnycide tried to hit Bogmire, who broke out of the ice, but kept missing– HORK!
Kamek: And Bogmire blew him away with a shadow ball! Now he’s floated out of Yoob, and is confronting Waluigi!
Bonetail: AROOOOO!
Waluigi: WAH! WAH!
Bogmire: …
FLAM!
Waluigi: WAHAHAHA!
Bonetail: AROOOO!
FWOOSH!
Waluigi: Oh-a no! Shadow Form!
SLURP!
Kamek: Bogmire then blasted Waluigi with a shadow ball, but he managed to dodge Bontail’s flame atta– NYARGH!
Cortez: Also, Yoob’s looking a little dazed from having a ghost inside of him!
Bogmire: …
FOOM! FOOM!
Waluigi: Not-a this time! Batter up!
WHACK! KABLAM!
Bogmire: …
Fwishhh…
Waluigi: WAHA!
Cortez: It looks like Bogmire evaporated after Waluigi hit one of the two shadow orbs right back into him!
Kamek: RAR!
BAM!
Cortez: OOF!
Kamek: And here comes the other one!
Waluigi: Grand-a slam!
WHACK! KABLAM!
Bonetail: A…roo…ooo…
Yoob: @#($*&(*&!
Hop!
Bonetail: Aroo?
Yoob: @#(*#…#@(*$&@#&&!!
SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!
Bonetail: …
Yoob: @(#*&&!
SHOOP!
Waluigi: Waha!
Cortez: And it looks like Bonetail’s out, succumbing to the combined force of Waluigi’s deflected shadow ball and Yoob’s ground pound! Now only Yoob and Waluigi remain!
Waluigi: … Uh oh…
Yoob: @#($&*!
Tung!
Waluigi: Wa-ha! Now-a for the… BOB-OMB BARRAGE!
FLEEEEEeeeee… Gulp!
Yoob: #@(*&?
BLAM! BOOM! BOMB! SHPLOM! KABOOM!
Yoob: *************!!!
Pokey: Waluigi, winner.
Cortez: And Yoob has run out! It looks like– ARRRK!
Kamek: Waluigi wins!
Cortez: You’ll pay for that, amigo.
Kamek: AUUUGHHH!
Roy: Wow, watching those two morons fight was more fun than the match itself. Oh well, end transmission.
The winner:
The losers:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
