|
Crystal King: Pretty tough for a guy who doesn't actually seem to have a body. |
General Guy: He's got a head on his shoulders, but does he have muscles on his arms? |
|
Larry: Will his desire for revenge power him to victory? Nah, he's still a loser... |
Tubba Blubba: For his sake he'd better be heartless. This could be a quick fight either way. |
The announcer:
The referee:
***
Doopliss: Greetings to you all, eager sports fans, to the only place where you can get your sports fix! Roy’s Sports Hall!
Roy: If your definition of sports is blood and gore. Which, in my case, it is. And it should be or everyone else too. Unless you want me to smash your face in!
Doopliss: Yes, yes, how very threatening.
Roy: What was that? Was that thinly-veiled sarcasm?!
Doopliss: Me? I would NEVER.
Roy: Oh ok- hey wait, was that another shot of sarcasm right there?!
Doopliss: Yeah.
Roy: Oh that is it!
Doopliss: But I’m actually using reverse psychology on you.
Roy: Oh- wait, what? That doesn’t even make any sense! There’s only one sensible thing to do in this situation.
Doopliss: What- OWRF!
Roy: Kick you in the face. Either way, it’s win-win!
Doopliss: … Anyway. Let’s see what we’ve got in the Red Corner. Oh, it’s just two-week winner Crystal King, thinking he’s cool enough to beat the Sports Hall like me. Well he’s WRONG.
Crystal King: …
Doopliss: And in the Blue Corner we’ve got the apparently invincible Tubba Blubba. Haha, I bet I could subdue him in five seconds… uhh… yeah.
Tubba Blubba: Nobody can beat me! Not as long as I have my secret!
Roy: Dude, shut up. Everybody knows your secret now.
Tubba Blubba: Aww… well. If I win I get free Boos, right?
Roy: Free booze?! Who do you think you’re talkin’ to, fool?! I should go down there and bust you up!
Doopliss: Uhh… I think he meant Boos as in… Boo. ‘Cept plural.
Roy: Oh. Ok. Nobody cares about them. But the booze is all mine. As long as we’re clear on that.
Doopliss: Err… right.
Larry: Wow, both fighters are pretty
strong. But I’m going with Tubba. I mean, he’s invincible! Even if
he’s not invincible, he’s probably
tougher than that frail Crystal King. I mean look at ‘im!
Roy: Yeah, shut up. Let’s see, what next? Oh yeah, fight!
Tubba Blubba: Blubba Squash!!
Crystal King: Clones.
Tubba: Huuunh?! Oow.
Doopliss: Tumba tried to ground pound Crystal King but the latter created clones and Tubba squashed the wrong one!
Crystal King: …
Tubba Blubba: Uhh… ooohhh!
Doopliss: Crystal King sent his bits at Tubba! But Tubba smashed them up like nothing!
Tubba: Rush!
Crystal King: Huh? GROWRGH!
Doopliss: Tubba Blubba charged and full body tackled Crystal King, sending him reeling backwards!
Tubba: Not done yet! Ha!
Crystal King: GRRAAUUNNGH!!!
Doopliss: Now Tubba executed a powerful uppercut, hitting the Crystal King’s crown and sending the whole cloak flying up in the air and down crashing on the floor! That was quick!
Crystal King: You will not be putting me down tonight.
Tubba Blubba: Rush!
Crystal King: Northern Shield!
Tubba Blubba: Huuuh-ORWFH!
Doopliss: Tubba tried to tackle again but was stopped by a shield made of light!
Crystal King: Ice Beam!
Tubba: Huuhh… tickles.
Crystal King: …
Doopliss: Crystal King is continually showering Tubba with a stream of ice but it’s not doing anything! Is he really invincible?
Tubba Blubba: Yes! I’m invincible!
Crystal King: …
Doopliss: Now the Crystal King has summoned a raging blizzard!
Tubba Blubba: Die so I can have my Boos already!
Crystal King: Not possible…
Roy: Haha, if only this loser knew I never keep my promises. Free Boos? Oh the naivety. Wait, shoot, the mike was on?!
Tubba Blubba: WHAT?!
Roy: Umm, well, I, uh...
Tubba Blubba: I’ll kill you and then eat your ghost for breakfast, you runt!!!
Roy: Wait, what?! Nobody talks like that to me, you- WOAH!
Tubba Blubba: TUBBA SQUASH!!!
Doopliss: Tubba has gone off the deep end and almost flattened Roy! He’s trying to attack him now!
Roy: This guy needs to be taught a lesson. ROY SPECIAL!!!
Boom, boom, BOOM!!!
Doopliss: Roy’s attack sent Tubba flying right through the roof and out into the horizon! Crazy! How can you beat an invincible opponent like that?
Roy: I’m just that good. Teach you to mess with me. And… I guess that kinda means Crystal King wins. A lame victory, but what can ya do?
Larry: Awww man. I would’ve been right if you hadn’t interfered!
Roy: You want some of this too?
Larry: No sir!
Roy: Good. Let’s see… I heard zapping might be getting old, so we’ll have to mix things up a little.
Larry: How? OWFRG!
Roy: Ahh, good old kick in the face. Never gets old.
Larry: … End Transmission.
The winner:
The losers:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
