|
Swiggler: If he gets within ten miles of a car, he'll be arrested on dozens of counts. |
King Boo: The only thing scary about him is that he probably thinks he's cool. |
|
Mecha Bowser: It figures that the form of Bowser that did the best is completely fake. |
Iggy: ... |
The announcer:
The referee:
***
Larry: Welcome to Roy’s Sports Hall. Brrrr.
Roy: What, you got a cold or something?
Larry: Yeah, because you shut me in a freezer for a week.
Roy: Oh, right. Carry on then. Cortez?
Cortez: Thanks, amigo. Where’s that moron Kamek?
Roy: Eh, somewhere.
Nearby Closet: Mfff.
Roy: Over there. Care to announce the contestants?
Cortez: Oh, right. In the Red Corner, we have the Shroob fuel plant and mutated Wiggler, Swiggler!
Swiggler: @#(*)&$!
Cortez: In the Green Corner, we have the king of ghosts and Season Four Round Three qualifier, King Boo!
King Boo: BLEEHEEHEE! You’ll rue the day you went up against me!
Cortez: In the Yellow Corner, we have the giant robot, Mecha Bowser!
Mecha Bowser: Doo-de-doo! Voice systems activated.
Cortez: Huh, looks like an upgrade. In the Blue Corner, we have… Iggy.
Iggy: WOO! YOU LOVE ME! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!
Roy: Not me. Pokey, start the match.
Pokey: Fight.
DING DING DING!
Mecha Bowser: Enemies targeted. Commencing Bullet Bill firing protoc–
Swiggler: @#(*&!!
SLAM!
Mecha Bowser: Danger! Danger!
Cortez: Mecha Bowser first attempted to shoot Bullet Bills at everyone, but Swiggler rammed into it, knocking it off balance!
Iggy: I’ll just lay low for now.
King Boo: Not a chance! Aqua Blast!
Iggy: Subatomic size!
FLOOP!
Iggy: Ha!
FLOOP!
Iggy: How’d you like that? Blast!
BOOM!
King Boo: Wha–NYEAARRRGHHH!
Mecha Bowser: Bullet Bills fired.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
King Boo: NEEERRRGGHHHH!
Cortez: Iggy then pulled off one of the most stunning moves in Sports Hall history, shrinking to subatomic size, dodging the water molecules of King Boo’s… spit attack, turning back to normal size, and then blasting him, accompanied by Mecha Bowser!
Roy: Eh, you talk too much.
King Boo: You’ll all pay! SPIKE BOMB!
Iggy: Woah!
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Iggy: Arrrghhh!
Swiggler: #@(*…#($*&@(#$*&@#$(*&#($*@&#!!!
FLA–BLAM!!!
Iggy: NYAARRRGHHHHHHH!
WHAM!
Mecha Bowser: Iggy detected. Commencing flamethrower.
FLOOOOOOOOOOM!
Iggy: THAT’S CHE–ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My epidermis.
Cortez: Due to a massive group attack on Iggy, he is now toasted to a crisp!
King Boo: Now that that moron’s out of the way… Aqua Blast!
FLOOM!
Swiggler: @)#*($&!
Rumblerumblerumble…CRASSSHHHHH!
King Boo: ARRGHHHH!
Mecha Bowser: Opening detected. Commencing flamethrower. Again.
FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Swiggler: @(#*$&@#&*!
King Boo: OUCH! THAT REALLY HURTS!
Cortez: Mecha Bowser has just shot huge gouts of flame at Swiggler and King Boo! And Swiggler doesn’t look too happy…
Swiggler: @#(*$&…#@$*#@(&$@(#*&…(#@*&$@(#*$&@#&($*(&#@&@#$(@!!!
King Boo: What the spork?!
Rumblerumblerumble…CRASSSSHHHHH!!!
Mecha Bowser: Carapace damaged. Fuel leak detected. Flamethrower disabled.
King Boo: YE– Oh no.
Cortez: What’s this?! Swiggler is ON FIRE, without any harm! Amazing, señores!
Swiggler: @(#*&$!
CRASSSSSSSSHH! CRASSSHHHHHH!!! CRASSSHHHHHHHH!
King Boo: AUUUGHH! ARRGHHH! AEEEEE!
Mecha Bowser: Icethrower, initiating.
FWISSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! CHINK!
Swiggler: @#(*&…@#((@*#&…@#(*&@$#(*$&*#(&$(&*@(*#…&@.
Cortez: *sniff…* What a moving final speech.
Roy: You understood that?
Cortez: Yeah, one of my pirates was a Shroob. Long story. In any case, Mecha Bowser just froze Swiggler solid! He is out!
King Boo: Mini-Boos, attack!
Mini-Boos: SIR, YES SIR!
Mecha Bowser: Beep. vacuum initiated.
VWOOOOOOOOOO!
King Boo: Drat. Roulette Spin!
Mecha Bower: Internal gyroscopes initiated.
King Boo: Blast! Spike Bomb!
Mecha Bowser: Explody, spiky thing shield activated.
Tink! FLOOM!
King Boo: ARGH!
Cortez: Mecha Bowser is stopping every attack that King Boo throws at him!
King Boo: What are you, a bad Internet role-player?! You shrug off all my attacks like they’re nothing!
Mecha Bowser: I was prepared.
King Boo: Oh yeah? Prepare yourself for this move I just learned! GHOST WORLD PORTAL!
Pop! FWOOOOOOOOOOO…
Mecha Bowser: Warning! Warning! Warning! War…
Pokey: King Boo, winner.
King Boo: YES! BLEEHEEHEE!
Cortez: Amazing! King Boo summoned a portal to the ghost world that sucked Mecha Bowser in! But why isn’t the portal disappearing?
CRASH!
Kamek: HA! I finally got out, to annou– Is that a portal?
King Boo: Uh oh! I made it too big! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!
FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
Roy: AHHH! WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Cortez: THE SPORTS HALL! IT’S GETTING SUCKED INNNNNNNNNNNNNNN–
TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED
The winner:
The losers:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
