***

Wario: Hello, losers! Welcome to the Great WARIO'S Sports Hall! Wah hah hah!

Roy: What do you think you're doing?

Wario: Being awesome, loser. Wario is-a UNSTOPABLE!

Roy: You were stopped pretty easy last week, as far as I remember.

Wario: Wario shall erase that memory from everyone's minds forever! Because he's Wario!

Roy: What happened to Anti Guy?

Wario: Losers don't get in WARIO'S way. That's why you're not in it.

Roy: And Larry?

Wario: GET OUT OF WARIO'S WAY OR WARIO PUNCHES HIM IN THE-A FACE!

Larry: Hey! I resent that.

Wario: Shut up, loser.

Roy: Can we keep him? He’s suddenly become moderately enjoyable as long as you're wearing a gas mask.

Larry: *sigh*

Roy: So Wario, good chum, start the match!

Wario: In the LOSER corner, we have a stupid-a ghost who rigged the system to beat-a Wario! HOW DARE YOU RIG THE SYSTEM BETTER THAN WARIO? WARIO IS GREAT!

King Boo: Blehehehehe... FOOLS! All of you are just pieces of rubble built up to be art! Only I can take you to death, so you can see how hideous you all really are when I reign supreme!

Wario: Big mouth. In the other loser corner, we have the limboing trash compactor.

Petey Piranha: GAAAAAAUUUUUGH! Guh!

Wario: And finally, in the corner that everyone hates, it's some guy with a stupid-a bow!

Wendy: Hmph! Idiots just can't understand how truly beautiful I really am.

Wario: And-a now, the dunce! Dance for Wario as you say stupid things!

Larry: Wha?

Wario: DANCE FOR WARIO!

Plink!

Larry: YOU JUST THREW... FROM YOUR NOSE... LIKE A BULLET!

Wario: DANCE FOR WARIO WHILE SAYING STUPID THINGS!

Larry: Okay, okay! Petey, because he's awesome, will make my sister need to wash herself off, and he and King Boo are pretty much even. I'll still give it to Petey, though, for being awesome.

Wario: Whatever-a! CACTUS!

Roy: Hey! I like doing that!

Wario: Whatever.

Roy: Grrrr... If I couldn't loot you and you weren't funny, you'd be SO out of here.

Pokey: Dumb. Fight!

DING! DING! DING!

King Boo: Blehehehehe... I'd like to welcome you both. Death's door is slowly creaking open... Let's see what's inside.

Petey Piranha: GAAAAAAAAAUGH! BLAAAUGH!

King Boo: Wheehehehe! No time for that, my friend, no time at all!

Wario: Wha? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL YOUR ATTACKS LIKE WARIO, IDIOT! Wario is naming that attack "Stupid Ghosty Goop Destroying Fireball-Thing". KING LOSER USES STUPID GHOSTY GOOP DESTROYING FIREBALL THING! There, Wario did the attack for you. You can pay Wario later.

Wendy: Hmph. You all aren't going to leave me out of the fun, are you? Just look how GORGEOUS I really am!

DAZZLE!

King Boo: Blehehehe... I thank you, my massive friend.

Petey Piranha: ... Gaugh?

Wendy: HEY! You were both supposed to be ROLLING ON THE FLOOR IN AGONY! GO DOWN NOW!

Wario: DAHAHAHAAHHA! LOSER! Wendy made herself all-a shiny, but it doesn't work on idiots without eyes OR ghosts hiding behind an idiot without eyes! WAH HAH HAH!

King Boo: I believe it's time for the show to start. LET IT RAIN!

Petey Piranha: GAAAAAUUUUGH! BLUAGH!

Wendy: GAH! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

Wario: IT'S RAINING EVIL FIRE FROM THE-A SKY! Wario approves of this cheap-a tactic!

King Boo: Blehehehe... Now dance, my subjects! Dance for your king!

BOOM! BOOM!

Petey Piranha: GAAUUUUUGH!

Wendy: Gah! NO!

Wario: HEY! ANNOUNCE YOUR-A ATTACKS LIKE THE REST OF THE LOSERS! AND WARIO! Anyway, he threw the-a spike bombs. Petey is a loser and let it explode in his-a face, but Wendy actually STOPPED IT WITH HER CLAW!

Wendy: Grrr... Take your bomb BA-

King Boo: Boom.

KA-BANG!

Mini-Boos: Bleheheheheehhehe!

Wendy: Gah! Get... these... OFF OF ME!

Wario: WAHAHAHAHAHA! The bomb exploded in Wendy's-a claw, and all of these tiny ghosts are-a crawling out all over!

King Boo: Blehehehe... Of course, only one as truly cruel as me could-

Petey Piranha: BLAAUGH!

Chomp!

Petey Piranha: Guh.

King Boo: Oh poor, simple Petey. I expected better.

Wario: WAH HAH HAH! Ghost idiot escaped from Petey's jaws in seconds! Petey is now in the running for Wario's Biggest Idiot award at the Wario Awards! Hosted by WARIO!

Wendy: Get... OFF OF MEEEEE!

King Boo: GAAH! Like a banshee! Have something to SILENCE YOU!

Wendy: I don't think so!

King Boo: Oh yes, you DO!

Wario: STOP ATTACKING SO FAST! WARIO FORGETS WHAT'S GOING ON! But Wario will try with his awesome memory... Shrieky used her lungs to scream loudly enough to get all of the little ghosts off of her, then Loser flew toward her. Now they're wrestling with each-a other!

Petey Piranha: GAUUUUUUGHBLAH!

Wario: And now, it's-a mud wrestling!

King Boo: What's this disgusting goop supposed to do to-

Nick! Nick! Chomp! Munch!

King Boo: GAH! This is... ANNOYING!

Wario: And a puddle of-a Goopy Piranhas! HILARIOUSLY stupid, but efficient. Wario likes!

Fizzle... fizzle...

King Boo: ... Idiot.

Wario: WAH HAH HAH! That move was-a useless compared to the fire rain that's-a still going on and that everyone seems to have forgetten about!

Roy: Maybe it's just because you're a bad commentator.

Wario: HEY, SHUT UP! WARIO IS THE GREATEST AT COMMENTARY!

Petey Piranha: GAAAAUGH!

King Boo: HEY! OW! I command you to halt your- GAH!

Wario: WAH HAH HAH! Golf clubs are King Boo's-a weakness!

King Boo: NO YOU MORON, IT JUST HURTS!

Wario: SHUT-A UP! WARIO IS SO TEMPTED TO GO DOWN THERE AND-A BEAT YOU WITH HIS GOLF CLUB! Wario's Clubs will be on sale for thousands of coins only this week, so GIVE WARIO YOUR MONEY! Wah hah hah!

Wendy: Hmmm... Boys? I'm so sorry, but we're going to have to split UP!

SHEEEEEEEEN!

Petey Piranha: GAAAUUUUGHBLAAAAAUUUUGH!

King Boo: Blehehehe... Ooh, so close!

Wario: WAH HAH HAH! Beautiful underhanded tactics, Wario approves! Using candy rings as flying buzzsaws is great! Like WARIO! But not nearly AS great as Wario.

Petey Piranha: Gaugh... BLAAAAAUUUUGH!

Wendy: What? AUGH, GET AWAY!

Petey Piranha: GAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGH!

Wendy: Get... away... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Petey Piranha: GAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH!

Ding!

Wario: WAH HAH HAH! The little girl's supersonic screams have sent-a Petey flying high into the-a air!

Pokey: Ring-out. Petey Piranha, out.

King Boo: Good show, my dear. I shall make your death swift and painless, if you would so desire it.

Wendy: Yeah, over my dead body, creep!

King Boo: Very poor choice of words.

Wendy: GAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

Wario: KING BOO PUNCHED WENDY'S SOUL! WARIO IS VERY AMUSED!

King Boo: Now, whenever you plan on counter-attacking, I'll be ready...

Wendy: Take THIS!

King Boo: Ooh, a blast from a magic wand. How VERY intimidating. Blehehehe...

Wendy: GAH!

Wario: King Boo isn't-a even putting up an effort! This is too easy! Like what would happen if Wario were there! Attacks just-a bounce back!

Wendy: Hmmm... Well then... time for the special weapon.

King Boo: Hmmm?

Poof.

Wario: WAH! UGLY KOOPA PRINCESS TURNED INTO AN EVEN UGLIER BOO PRINCESS! WARIO'S EYES FEEL-A ALL MELTY!

King Boo: W-w-what is this? Trying to take on your king's d-d-desires? N-n-no, I will NOT stand for this!

Wendy: Oh, come on, sweetie. Let's just float out of here and scare the pants off of some couple... together~.

High-pitched Giggling Action!

Wario: This... is... BORING! MANIPULATING YOUR FOE'S ATTRACTION TO YOU BORES WARIO! START PUNCHING EACH OTHER AGAIN!

King Boo: Gaaaaah! Ohdearohdearohdear... hmmmm... AH! That'lldoyesyes.

Wendy: What'll do, sweetie?

King Boo: Ijusthavealittlepresentforyouisall.

Wendy: Oh, that's so sweet.

Kissing Action!

Wario: WAH! This is STUPID! This is how-a bad fan fiction gets-a made! STOP DOING-A THAT! SPONTANEOUS ROMANCE BASED ON PHYSICAL ATTRACTION BORES-A WARIO!

King Boo: Just a moment... You cannot vanish, can you?

Wendy: Of course I can. Anything for you...

King Boo: Well then... all right.

CRASH!

Pokey: Wendy, down. King Boo, winner.

King Boo: Blehehehehehe... Did you all honestly think I'd be taken in by that? FOOLS!

Wario: WAHAHAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT WAS-A GREAT! Petey's body came back down and hit like a METEOR! King Boo was just-a stalling the whole time!

Roy: He ALSO wrecked my floor, which YOU'RE going to fix.

Wario: The Great Wario will never fix-a floors!

Roy: Very well then... Oops, is this a coin?

Wario: Wait! What are you-a...

Roy: Oops, I accidentally melted it. Silly me.

Wario: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wario is-a master carpenter!

Roy: Good then. Now... Larry?

...

Roy: LARRY!

Larry: HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLP!

Roy: Wha?

Wario: STOP SCREAMING, HAMMER! WARIO NEEDS TO-A WORK ON FLOOR REPAIRS!

Roy: Ahahahahahahaha! Loser!

Larry: I miss you, ELECTRIC CHAIR!

Roy: End transmission... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The winner:

The losers:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.