|
Yoob: If there is a lack of resources left on Planet Shroob, this is probably the reason. |
General Guy: He's got a head on his shoulders, but does he have muscles on his arms? |
|
Larry: Will his desire for revenge power him to victory? Nah, he's still a loser... |
Spy Guy: It's great and all that he can hide himself even in the open, but when your opponent eats everything anyway... |
The announcer:
The referee:
***
Roy: No gimmicks! Me only! Final Destination!
Larry: Errr... Right. Welcome to the Sports Hall, everybody.
Roy: These gimmicks are sickening and horrible! I mean really, what's next? Is a SNAIL going to buy me out?
Larry: Actually, eh... I sort of rented out the fighters... hehe...
Roy: You. Did. WHAT?!
Larry: Got us a lifetime supply of bananas and rare exotic plants? Plus, the Sports Hall was trashed with Yoob! We gotta take repairs into account... right?
Roy: You'll suffer for this. You WILL suffer.
Larry: Meep.
Meanwhile...
DK: Whoo-HOO! Welcome to DONKEY ARENA!
Audiance: WOOOO! HOO HOOOOO!
DK: Donkey think jungle could use more excitement, so Donkey bring violence to home of Kongo Jungle. Plus, Donkey think that terrain an important part of deciding battle, and fighters more apt to fighting in jungle environment than boring arena. So DONKEY BRING THEM TO JUNGLE!
Wario: Hoo-stinkin'-ray.
DK: Donkey also give Wario free shiny things to judge fight fair.
Wario: This is-a temporary! The great Wario will get his stadium back, and he will-a embarrass your publicity.
DK: Donkey think we spend too much time on introduction.
Wario: Then shut your-a banana-munching trap and get-a on with it!
DK: Fine. In tasty apple-color corner, we have big guy who Donkey will beat up in Round 2... or else... Yoob!
Yoob: @#$#@$%@%#$@#$
DK: In blue blueberry corner of not-as-tasty, we have camouflagued master, Spy Guy!
Spy Guy: Kept you waiting, huh?
DK: And since Donkey good guy, he bring televised broadcast of Larry for prediction. Larry?
Bzzt.
Larry: OH MY GOODNESS HE HAS THE CHAINSAW! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!
Roy: Get back here YOU LITTLE-
Larry: AAAAHHHHHHH!!! YOOB FOR BIGNESS NOW HELLLLP!
Bzzt.
DK: Donkey, uh... experiencing technical difficulties involving chainsaw...
Wario: So, can I-a start this show?
DK: Donkey say yes.
Wario: All right! This-a whole jungle is-a fair game. No leaving this-a island, and otherwise, go for as-a many cheap blows as possible! So... GO! GO! RIP EACH OTHER TO PIECES FOR WARIO! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Yoob: @#$@$%@#$%@#
Spy Guy: Hmph.
Slash!
Yoob: !!!! $@%@#$@!#$@!
DK: OOOH HOO! Giant mutant try licking Spy up, but he sidestep and use sharp knife-thingy!
Spy Guy: If that is the best you can do, I've wasted my time.
Yoob: @#$#@%@!
Fling!
Spy Guy: Missed me. You trying?
DK: Giant eggs no hit! Spy Guy just good at dodging!
Yoob: #@$@#$%$#^&*&*()&)*&!
FLING! FLING! FLING!
Spy Guy: Augh!
DK: But giant egg baragge too much!
Yoob: ...?
DK: OOH HOO! Spy Guy hiding in jungle so Yoob no see!
Yoob: $#%%#^$%@!
Galum!
DK: OOH! Yoob eating jungle so Spy Guy have nowhere to hide!
Spy Guy: You're a big fella, aren't ya? Well now...
Plik.
Spy Guy: Arg!
DK: HOO HAHA! Spy try throwing sharp thing at Yoob, but it no work!
Yoob: @#$%$@#%$!
Crush! Crash!
DK: Yoob destroying Spy Guy's cover with giant feet!
Spy Guy: Well then. YAH!
Boing!
DK: Spy Guy do big jump to cling to Yoob's tail!
Yoob: @#%$%#$%#@$!
DK: Yoob too busy going crush to notice!
Spy Guy: Gotcha this time.
Yoob: !!! #$#$%^%^$%^$@!@
DK: Spy Guy drive sharp thing into Yoob's back!
Spy Guy: Hmph.
DK: Spy Guy run off Yoob's back. What he thinking?
Boom!
Yoob: @#!#@$%#$%$#!
DK: SHARP THING GO BOOM! SHARP THING GO BOOM! OOH HOO HOO!
Spy Guy: Outsmarting you is like pitting my wits against a tin can: worthless.
Yoob: #@$%#$%$#!
Plop!
RC Shroober: @#%#$%^#$%#!
DK: Yoob lay little creature from inside to attack!
Spy Guy: Hmph. Let's see if he can find me...
RC Shroober: @#$$@%$#$@!
Shoom!
Spy Guy: ARRRRRGH!
DK: Exploding vehicle hit Spy Guy even when he go hiding in jungle!
Spy Guy: So, you AREN'T a moron. All right, HAVE AT-
Yoob: @#$@$%@$#$!
Squish!
DK: OOOH! That GOTTA hurt! Donkey should know.
Wario: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The little thing must be dead! Yoob is-
Spy Guy: A dead dinosaur. *cough*
DK: Spy crawl out!
Spy Guy: Now for a little gift, you bolt-headed half-wit.
Fling!
RC Shroober: @!#$@#$#!@$@#$#@
KA-BEWM!
DK: Spy throw mechanical thingy at support guy and it explode!
Yoob: @#$@#$@#$#!@^%
Spy Guy: UGH! It's sticky! And take some mouth wash, will ya?
Gulp!
DK: Spy eaten! Spy eaten!
Wario: All right, time to go to the-a inside Yoob camera... or what-a-ever.
Spy Guy: Thank you, you fat idiot! Now, to just place the knife right through the heart and...
Sunnycide: @#$@#$%#$%#$%$@#$!
Spy Guy: ARG!
DK: No one expects SUNNYCIDE!
Wario: I-a saw it coming.
Sunnycide: #$%#%$@#$@#$%@#$!
Spy Guy: ARG! AAH! UNHAN- GAH!
DK: Spy Guy not doing so well against giant tentacles!
Spy Guy: All right... Not my GAH best idea...
Wario: WARIO would've-a won this fight in two attacks...
DK: Donkey too.
Wario: You already-a had your turn!
DK: Donkey do better with trees.
Wario: Loser.
Spy Guy: Hmph. Just to upset the stomach aaaand...
Yoob: @#$@#%@#$%@#%%&%**(&*(!
Fwoom!
Spy Guy: GAAAHHHHH!!!
Sunnycide: @#%#$%@#$@#$@#$@!
Ding!
Wario: ... WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Oh, oh boy, that's-a rich!
DK: Spy try to get Yoob to send him out of his mouth, but Spy Guy get shot far away with Sunnycide!
Wario: Well, that's as-a close to a ring out as we're-a gunna get. So, I guess that the-a big dinosaur...
Shy Guy: Is doomed.
Wario: WHA?!
DK: HUH?!
Yoob: ???!!!!
Spy Guy: Sometimes a snake just has to shed its skin.
DK: But you... you go flying! Donkey see!
Spy Guy: I just took off my camo. On the way out, I clung to the big guy's tongue, and the camouflague flew out with the big egg. Again, that thing's surprisingly sticky.
Wario: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is-a even funnier!
Spy Guy: All right... Let's end this, shall we?
Yoob: #$%#$$@#@%^&!
Spy Guy: This is a little diet I call DEATH, fat alien monster!
Stab!
Yoob: @#$%$#%@#$$@!
BOOM!
Yoob: ...
DK: Direct explody sharp-thingy to the head! Woo hoo!
Wario: Hang on just a second... WARIO-A SPECIAL!
Wham! Bam! Crack!
Yoob: ...
Wario: Yup, that's-a goner. Spy-thingy is the-a winner.
Spy Guy: Here lies fatty Yoshi. He ate a lot and died a moron.
DK: Well, that fun battle. See everyone next time.
Wario: Yes, see WARIO next time! Wah hah ha-
Wham! Bam! Crack!
Wario: WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Roy: ALL RIGHT, I'M HERE!
DK: How Roy get here?
Roy: Because I am ENDING these stupid things once and for all. We have STANDARDS. The only reason you're not being beaten is because I happen to LIKE bananas, you smart creep!
DK: Bananas univeral answer to life's problems.
Roy: Whatever, I'm just taking back the show. C'mon Spy, let's go.
Spy Guy: Right behind you...
Roy: And end the dang transmission, will ya?
Transmission Ended
The winner:
The loser:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
