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Gloomtail vs Eerie vs Grand Goomba

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Roy: Welcome to another match at Roy’s Sports Hall!

Gloomtail: Please tell me we’ve got a better matchup for me than Microgoomba.

Roy: Look, um…

Gloomtail: What is it now?

Roy: Two people were voted into the Hall today.

Gloomtail: There’s nothing wrong with a three-way bout. They must be powerful if they want to face me!

Roy: Well, one of them’s a ghost, and the other… well…

Iggy: Ooh! Is it Don Pianta?

SLAP!

Iggy: OW! What was that for?

Roy: What was what for?

…

Roy: Oh, I was just doing that subconsciously.

Iggy: Every day you find a new way to be a jerk.

Roy: Thank you, I take pride in it. Now announce them or my hand might find its way into your stomach while I’m thinking about how cool my shades are.

Gloomtail: You never said who the second fighter is.

Iggy: Well, in the Red Corner we have the only RPG boss smart enough not to put a heal box in front of his lair, GLOOMTAIL!

Gloomtail: Yes, I know who I am, but who are the others?

Iggy: In the Green Corner, we have the ghost that nobody cares about, EERIE!

Eerie: I am terrifying! Look at how scary I am!

Iggy: And in the Yellow Corner, we have–

SMAAAAASH!

Grand Goomba: DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM?!

Roy: I just fixed that wall.

Gloomtail: Who are you?

Grand Goomba: I am GRAND GOOMBA! The GREATEST OF THEM ALL! Prepare to be UTTERLY HUMILIATED in the RING for the crime of CONSUMING MY BELOVED COUSIN!

Gloomtail: You mean Microgoomba?

Grand Goomba: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME?!

Roy: This is going to be fun. Who do you think’s going to win, Iggy?

Iggy: I’m going to run with Gloomtail. Considering Grand Goomba can still be squashed with a hit or two, I don’t like his chances.

Roy: What about Eerie?

Iggy: Who?

Eerie: Ooooooo…oooooooooo…

Iggy: Oh, that? I didn’t realize he was fighting, I just thought he was a cloud of smoke or something.

Roy: Okay… Pokey, start the match.

Pokey: Fight.

DING DING DING!

Grand Goomba: CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE!

Gloomtail: You seem like too much of a pain to eat.

SWAT!

Grand Goomba: Guaugh!

CRASH!

Iggy: Gloomtail casually slapped Grand Goomba to the side!

Grand Goomba: That won’t stop me!

Gloomtail: Hmph.

CHOMP!

Gloomtail: What?

Iggy: Grand Goomba’s displaying surprising speed!

Grand Goomba: Did you think I was just another Goomba? HA!

SMASH!

Gloomtail: AUGH!

Grand Goomba: HA, I say! YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE POWER OF A GRAND GOOMBA!

SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!

Gloomtail: Hnnnnrgh… Get… OFF… MEEEE!

SLAP!

Grand Goomba: OOF!

Iggy: Somehow, they seem evenly matched!

Grand Goomba: That’s because I’m in the top percen–

Gloomtail: Oh, don’t EVEN start with me! Hhhhhhhhhh…

Grand Goomba: A Megabreath? I’ll just shield myself and–

Eerie: Poke.

Grand Goomba: NEEEEYYYYAAAAAHHHHH!

MEGABREATH

Grand Goomba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Iggy: What the– Eerie actually scared someone!

Eerie: Isn’t it shocking how scary I am?

Gloomtail: You’re not frightening at all. I spent hundreds of years in a pit with an eldritch abomination.

Eerie: Well, I have a Yoshi nose.

Gloomtail: You’re ridiculous.

SWAT! FZAT!

Gloomtail: What the?

Eerie: You can’t hurt me, I’m a ghost.

Gloomtail: How did– Why did–

Eerie: I’m getting clooooooooser…

Gloomtail: Try again!

FWOOOOOOOOM!

Iggy: Ooh, poison breath at point-blank! This match is over!

Gloomtail: Heh, disintegrated completely. Next time try to–

Eerie: BOO!

Gloomtail: GUAH!

Eerie: Goodbye.

Push! CRASH!

Pokey: Ring out. Winner, Eerie.

Eerie: Hooray!

Iggy: I… I don’t believe it. Eerie shouted in Gloomtail’s ear, causing him to lose his balance and fall out of the ring.

Roy: Wow, that’s too bad. I bet he could use a nice after-match snack.

Iggy: Not this time! I’ll just run away befo–

CLOTHESLINE!

Iggy: Owww…

Roy: Trying to run away? I’ll douse you in barbecue sauce this time.

Iggy: Let’s just end transmission first…