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Bowser Castle vs Peach's Castle

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Roy: Welcome to the grassy field outside Roy’s Sports Hall! Today we feature the clash of the castles!

Iggy: That’s right, Roy.

Roy: Of course it is.

Iggy: I was just trying to get repartee going.

Roy: You know what happens when you use those pretentious words, right?

Iggy: You beat me up?

Roy: At least your tiny brain can understand the laws of cause and effect.

Iggy: Aaanyways, King Dad isn’t here right now because he’s piloting his castle.

Bowser: That’s right! Bwahahaha! It feels great being back in control of the ol’ death machine!

Roy: So he made you come back? Is this my punishment or something?

Iggy: Uh, actually, yes. You ate all the beef jerky.

Roy: We live in a castle! Why is King Dad so stingy about it?!

Iggy: Beats me. We should probably start before he gets angrier.

Roy: All right, I suppose. In the eastern field is the coolly unstoppable and unstoppably cool BOWSER CASTLE!

Bowser: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait until you see what new instruments of pain I’ve got loaded onto this baby!

Roy: And in the western field, it’s the pastel automaton, PEACH’S CASTLE!

Peach’s Castle: Begin operation. Commencing combat protocol. Arming lasers.

Roy: Larry, which castle do you think’s going to win?

Larry: The real question we have to ask here is, if King Dad’s castle is stronger than King Dad was when he was giant.

…

Larry: Oh dear, either way I answer that question I’m in trouble. I’ll just flip a coin.

Flip!

Larry: All right, Peach’s Castle it is. I’ll go ahead and skip into the electric chair now.

Roy: Good boy. Pokey?

Pokey: Fight.

DING DING DING!

Peach’s Castle: Activate portal.

FASHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM!

Iggy: The fight’s starting up. Peach’s Castle began with that black hole…

Bowser: HA! You think I’m going to fall for those fireworks again?  FIRE!

FOOOOOOM! BLAM! FASHOOM!

Iggy: King Dad shot the portal out of the sky with a missile, and it landed behind Peach’s Castle again! For such a large machine, it sure doesn’t learn from its mistakes.

Peach’s Castle: Warning: Attack interrupted. Defensive capabilities compromised. Beginning attack.

WHAM!

Bowser: Exactly where I want you!

FWOOOOOOOOM!

Bowser: Didn’t think this giant statue of me was just for show, did you?

Peach’s Castle: Fire detected! Beginning ejection of flammable material!

Bowser: I’d love a Mushroom, tha–

KABOOOOOOOM!

Iggy: What the?! Peach’s Castle ejected a Shroob-omb!

Bowser: *cough, cough* Can’t… see…

Peach’s Castle: Beginning push protocol.

WHAM!

Bowser: What the?!

Iggy: Peach’s Castle used the smoke screen to maneuver behind Bowser’s Castle! This could be its chance to push the castle into the black hole!

Bowser: Makes no difference to me! FIRE!

KAFWOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Peach’s Castle: Damage within controllable limits. Activating defensive program.

ZAP!

Iggy: Peach’s Castle threw up that force field! How’s Bowser going to get rid of it?

Bowser: There’s no such thing as a perfect shield!

Iggy: I see, King Dad’s figured out some kind of secret weapon to–

Bowser: FIRE EVERYTHING!

FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Peach’s Castle: All missiles disabled. Releasing mobile units. Beginning invasion.

Bowser: This isn’t good…

CRASH!

Bowser: So you think you can stop me with these little things? Fat chance.

Fawful-bot: Commencing invasion. Attacking operator.

PUNCH!

Bowser: Guargh! You think that’s enough to stop me?

WHAM! WHOMP! Fling!

Iggy: King Dad effortlessly threw a robot twice his size out a window! But unfortunately, it’s his castle that’s fighting and without ammo…

Roy: Ammo… That’s it! KING DAD!

Bowser: What is it, Son? Care to apologize about the jerky?

Roy: We have like five pallets in the pantry! Try stuffing robots into the cannons!

Bowser: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Good idea! I always liked you best!

Roy: See, I told you so.

Iggy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bowser: OUCH! THAT ROBOT SURE DID A NUMBER ON ME! IT WOULD BE VERY PAINFUL TO HAVE MORE ROBOTS ATTACK ME!

Peach’s Castle: Verbal habits analyzed. Bad acting detected. Charging laser.

Bowser: This isn’t good. Where am I supposed to find vaguely missile-shaped things?

…

Bowser: I can’t. Not my beautiful statues.

Peach’s Castle: Charging… charging… charging…

Bowser: It’s a tough decision. But I suppose all my statues would be destroyed if… Fine. Minions!

CLUNK! CLUNK! CLUNK!

Peach’s Castle: Fire.

Bowser: FIRE!

FOOOOOOOOOOOM! Foom! Foom! Foom!

…

Iggy: A huge hole’s been blasted through Bowser Castle! I hate to say it, but…

Peach’s Castle: Lowering shields. Victory has been decided.

Bowser: You bet it has!

KAFWAAAAAAAAAM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Pokey: Bowser Castle still standing. Winner.

Iggy: Looks like King Dad fired his statues in a high arc to avoid the laser, and hit Peach’s Castle after it lowered its defenses!

Bowser: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! How do you like THAT, you pink jerk?

Roy: Well, the family feud’s been settled.

Larry: Really? I forgive you, too.

Roy: I meant between King Dad and me. You’re still getting shocked.

Larry: BLAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGGGGG! END TRANSMISSION!

Voting Results (highlight to see): 1. Bowser Castle: 66% 2. Peach's Castle: 34%

Nominee Results (highlight to see): 1. Count Cannoli: 56% 2. Muth: 44%

Failed Nominations: These eligible fighters were nominated, but not often enough to make the ballot. - Bob-omb, Bonetail, Bowser, Bulky Bob-omb, Fawful Express, Gooper Blooper, Grodus, Il Piantissimo, Kingfin, Koopa Troopa, Major Burrows, Midbus, Morton, Petey Piranha, Shy Guy, Tap-Tap the Red Nose, Tower of Yikk, Wario

Disallowed Nominations: You're not allowed to nominate these now - so don't waste your vote! - Tec (not an enemy) - Doopliss (retired season winner) - Iggy (already fought this season) - Mario (Mario) - Dr. Wario (I don't think this is a different character from Wario, so vote counted for Wario) - Lemmy (already fought this season) - Roy vs. Mario (Roy already fought this season, Mario is Mario, only one choice may be made at a time)